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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476867">Killing god - fun for the whole family</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113'>Zoya113</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fake family unit, M/M, TW: Blood, TW: Divorce mentions, TW: arguing, shoved an odd amount of lore in here, taking the ND gang to Watcherworld what could go wrong, tw: gaslighting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:53:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>PEIP have come to investigate Watcherworld where they believe the eldritch god Blinky is located, but have to go undercover as a family unit to get inside</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Colonel Schaeffer &amp; Carol (mentioned), John Mcnamara/ Xander Lee, Melissa &amp; Colonel Schaeffer (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Mr Davidson/ Carol (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Killing god - fun for the whole family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*steals robertstanions mcnamander lore and name drops their OCs*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So he just hangs out in Watcherworld?” Xander leant over John’s shoulder doubtfully. “Like, the Hatchetfield amusement park?”</p><p>“Well, Bliklotep’s corporeal form, Blinky - he usually resides in the Black and White however we can’t eliminate his true form without destroying his vessel,” John explained, reading over the information Xander’s resources had been able to collect for him.</p><p>“How creative,” Xander hummed, brushing John’s hair back so he could get a better view of the paper. “Soo,” he begun. “Amusement park date slash mission?” He suggested, raising an eye brow with a grin.</p><p>“Oh, no, not the place for romance,” he snorted, brushing his hand back up at Xander, his fingers lingering at his chest briefly. “He specialises in Uh,” he didn’t have a word for it. “Making people really angry, all the time.”</p><p>“Oh, not a very amusing amusement park. Unless you watch WWE I guess,” Xander shrugged, frowning. </p><p>John chuckled, playing with the chains of Xander’s dog tag. “It’ll be easy. He takes the form of the park’s mascot. Just one big suit. Maybe he’s tall but, if we could get a shot on him we could take him out, and I’ll commandeer a team into the Black and White to sort it out.” </p><p>“Ah, sorted. Easy afternoon. Who’re we taking? A squad?” Xander inquired, collecting some of the papers off the table, data his lab had provided him with.<br/>“Ooh, tickets are like, twenty five dollars for adult tickets. Yikes,” he winced. </p><p>“Oh, you’re back on the Bliklotep case?” Colonel Schaeffer was standing in the doorway. “Anything new?”</p><p>“We’re going to head down to Hatchetfield, no surprise. His corporeal form is located In Watcherworld. We’ll take some guys down there and sort that out this weekend,” he stated. </p><p>She snorted, giving him an expecting look. “Mcnamara.”</p><p>“What?” He glanced back at Xander. “What?” </p><p>“Walk me through the plan,” she circled with her hand, leaning her shoulder up against the doorframe, a very mock thoughtful look on her face. </p><p>“Me and Xander, three or four other soldiers will go down to Hatchetfield,” he paused until she nodded. “And we’ll go to the theme park, collect some intel during the day and take him out after closing?” </p><p>“Alright, uh,” she pursed her lips shut. “Soldiers with guns going down to the angry god fest, hope you don’t shoot each other,” it all still sounded pretty solid to Mcnamara, it’s not like they were going to shoot each other. They knew he was going to make them angry so they would be careful. “How are you getting inside?”</p><p>“Buying tickets? We aren’t gonna sneak in, Bliklotep sees all, he’d know,” he answered, albeit slightly snarky to have gotten to the point before Schaeffer could make a fool out of him. </p><p>“Johnathan Mcnamara you cant buy five adult tickets to a kid’s amusement park, you’ll look like a creep,” she stated, her voice raised uncomfortably loud.</p><p>“Ah! Hey, you don’t have to shout,” he beckoned her into his office so she would close the door. “So what, smaller group? Sneak in after dark?”</p><p>“No, if I’m not out stepping my place to offer you some advice, it’s a good idea to go in during the day. But not in a task force. Bliklotep will catch you before you even step foot on the property, you can’t take a suspicious group,” she explained, which Mcnamara had to admit with a sigh was quite the catch. </p><p>Schaeffer strode over to further examine the papers, silent and curious. </p><p>“Oh, hey.” Xander placed the ticket prices back down on the desk, hands on McNamara’s shoulder to grab his attention. </p><p>He glanced at it in surprise, he picked it up, grinning. “Schaeffer, how do you feel about going undercover?”</p><p>“Oofh,” she rubbed her neck. “Not my strong suit. Why?”</p><p>“We’ll go in as a family!” He announced proudly. </p><p>Schaeffer gave a rather horrified and tense smile, cracking her knuckles with a small groan. “Oh I’m not ready to be a mother.”</p><p>“Do you happen to know any children? Or child like adults?” He pressed. “That you would perhaps like to bring along?” </p><p>“John, you know I happen to know a child like adult. What are you proposing here?” She crossed her arms, not amused. </p><p>“Well would you rather pretend to be Private Slate’s mother for the day?”</p><p>“Oh, god, no! The kid is great but I’m not mothering him all day! Look, don’t get snarky with me or I’ll leave you to do this mission with the Brigadier,” she snapped.</p><p>“Oh, no! Don’t make me do it with Savant she scares the shit out of me,” he groaned, leaning back in his chair to come up with some sort of compromise, looking up at Xander who gave a sympathetic laugh. Brigadier Savant wasn’t short tempered like Schaeffer she was just mean and mad for the sake of it and he hated that. </p><p>“Well can’t you take one of your proteges? You’ve got kids you can take and that’s much better than pulling a civilian into it,” she shook her head, withdrawn from the idea. “Take Private Hartford, and take the Brigadier, problem solved.” </p><p>“Yes but we’re trying to trick a god here, and I already doubt he’s going to buy that we’re a family, but I’d love for the kid to look like a child and not a heavily traumatised war soldier,” he chimed in. “I would like the child to have minor trauma if I can help it,” he half-joked. “And we cant risk bad acting if he can see everything. You can’t even tell her we’re going undercover. Just tell her it’s all for a day of fun.”</p><p>“Uh, a day of fun for us is not a shitty, kid’s amusement park, and I don’t think she’s going to be a convincing child of yours if she doesn’t even know your first name.” She paused, then shook her head. “Sorry, you want me to bring a civ in on a mission!?” She questioned skeptically, not really wanting to shift on it.</p><p>Xander rubbed his shoulders when he tensed up. “It’s an amusement park, Schaeff. She won’t get hurt. John and I’ll handle the god.”</p><p>“So we’re just for the looks huh?” Schaeffer snorted, rolling her eyes. “Look. This is a riot of an undercover mission, General. Very funny, but you can take the Brigadier and you can take Hartford or someone, I won’t-“</p><p>“She won’t be happy if you visit Hatchetfield without saying hello to her,” Xander interrupted, and Mcnamara could hear a slight laugh to his voice. </p><p>“Oh you’re tricky, Lee,” Schaeffer huffed. </p><p>“And she’d love an amusement park,” Mcnamara added, taking Xander’s hand. </p><p>Schaeffer tipped her head back to avoid eye contact, “so what’re we bringing Xander along for then?”</p><p>“Hey, ouch,” he frowned. “I’ll be a family friend, and you can let your buddy head home before closing time if you’re really that scared. We just need her to get in.” </p><p>“Well I’ll see if she’s up for it but I can’t make any promises!” She turned on her heels. “This weekend?” She called over her shoulder.</p><p>“Sunday!” He confirmed. </p><p>“Oh I’ve got to go get ready,” she huffed, storming off. </p><p>“Ahh I’m going to be a dad and a husband this weekend,” Mcnamara decided.</p><p>“Like you weren’t already?” Xander joked, sitting down on his table and taking his hand, brushing over his wedding band.</p><p>“Yes but - I’ll be briefly marrying Schaeffer, sorry about that firefly, and briefly adopting another child,” he ordered up his papers with a laugh. </p><p>“And by child you mean...” he trailed off.</p><p>“Twenty six year old adult, yes,” he laughed. “Lower your voice. Bliklotep can see everything and we don’t want him getting in on the plan before we’re even on the property.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a great time with the colonel in Angry people land,” he said with a hint of warning. </p><p>“Ohh it’s okay. She was angry all the time back when we were just cadets, I’m used to it. She does this thing where she catches this deep breath right before she swings and I’ve learnt to dodge.” It was only mostly a joke. He had learnt that the hard way.</p><p>“Well you’re back to being mine on Monday okay?” Xander spoke as he collected his things off McNamara’s desk. </p><p>“Of course, Zee, always.” </p><p>“And you’re still with me until Sunday morning so don’t go getting too attached to your new wife,” he teased, hand on the door.</p><p>“Oh stop saying that I do not like that word,” he scoffed playfully. “Don’t have too much fun as a single man!” </p><p>Xander laughed as he tuned to head out the door, giving him one last teasing smile. “No promises!” </p><p>———————————————————</p><p>Getting a knock at her apartment door was not a usual occurrence for Melissa.</p><p>It wasn’t like she got any door to door people up here on the forth floor, and she certainly hadn’t invited anyone over.</p><p>She groaned, burying her face into a couch pillow. She hated surprise visits, she needed at least two days to prepare for any sort of lengthy social interaction.  </p><p>By the door, her cat let out a loud meow to alert her to the loud knocking. </p><p>“Who are you, the police?” She huffed, she was hoping she could just pretend she wasn’t home but they were oddly persistent. </p><p>She trudged over to the door, scooping her cat up under one arm so she couldn’t run out the door. </p><p>She opened it with a groan, making it clear with a grimace that whoever had come had come at the wrong time, only to be taken by surprise at the colonel at her front door.</p><p>“Oh my god, Schaeffer?” She almost didn’t recognise her. She was wearing a woollen cardigan over a nice blouse and that was a far shot from the friend she was familiar with. “What’s going on?” She assumed it was something serious, because usually Schaeffer would simply pick the lock and let herself in, not that she was entirely okay with that either, it was just a stark contrast. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” This felt like some sort of hostage situation. Her cat squirmed in her arm until she let her down, unfortunately she was not a fan of her friend. </p><p>“No, no, kid. Everything is fine uh,” she gestured over her shoulder to the two men  further down the hall, one of them she vaguely recognised to be General Mcnamara, but she hadn’t met the other man before. “Are you busy today?” </p><p>She did prefer her two days notice, but it was a little different with Schaeffer. “I don’t think so?” </p><p>“Well do you wanna come to an amusement park with us?” She offered.</p><p>Melissa’s jaw dropped, eyes wide. “If you need help blink twice,” she took Schaeffer’s hand to hold tightly by her chest. </p><p>“No, no, cut that out,” she managed a snort. “I know it’s a funny request. Are you in or not though?” </p><p>“Oooh is this?” She dropped her voice, gesturing between Schaeffer and the two soldiers behind her. “A hang out?” She said instead with a quick change of tone. “Are we all going to the amusement park together?”</p><p>“It’s an undercover mission,” Schaeffer corrected her, a little more blunt. </p><p>“But there are roller coasters there?” She held her hands out to keep Schaeffer focused on the task at hand. </p><p>“Aw, Schaeffer! You weren’t supposed to say that!” Mcnamara groaned. “Look. Now we have to go find another child! Where are we supposed to get one on such short notice?” </p><p>Schaeffer crossed her arms. “She already worked that out.”</p><p>“Yeah, I figured ‘caus I’ve never seen Schaeffer wear anything but the uniform and that one camo jacket, I don’t think she would wear a cardigan by choice. Also why would she bring you?” She had picked up the hem of Schaeffer’s cardigan  to run through her fingers, looking up wide eyed and expectant at Mcnamara and his friend.</p><p>“My sister gave it to me, she said it was nice,” Schaeffer grumbled to herself, although it was obviously too tight around her shoulders.</p><p>“Oh she’s bright,” the mystery soldier elbowed Mcnamara. “You up for getting adopted for a day?” He hurried straight to the point. </p><p>“So we can kill a god,” Schaeffer elaborated honestly.</p><p>“Hahah, I’ve got no clue what you guys are talking about but it sounds fun,” she looped an arm through Schaeffer’s with only a slightly anxious laugh. “Who doesn’t love a day out on town with mom and dad and-“ she gestured vaguely to Xander, trying to pin a relationship down. “My dad’s gay lover?”</p><p>“He’s a family friend,” Mcnamara declared on the spot.</p><p>“Eh, it’s in the subtext,” he snorted. He held a hand out to shake with her. “Lieutenant Xander Lee,” he introduced himself. </p><p>“Uncle Xander, got it!” She gave him a wonky salute and Schaeffer chuckled, patting her back with a firm hand.</p><p>“I taught her that,” she added quite proudly, letting Melissa go to get ready. </p><p>She grabbed her backpack off the hook by the door to shove her phone and purse into. “Sorry baby, I’ve got undercover things to do today,” she giggled as her cat came to investigate what she was up to. “Goodbye!” She slipped on her flats, locking up her door.</p><p>Mcnamara gave a nod. “Lovely. Look at that, we’re already shaping up to be quite the family!” He put an arm around Xander’s shoulder instead of his waist. “Now come along, dear wife.”</p><p>“I’ll gag. Say that again and I’m gone,” she slapped his hand away. “No body said we have to be a happy couple. You’re clearly sort of cheating on me.”</p><p>“We aren’t divorced yet though!” Mcnamara corrected her.</p><p>“Aw, are my parents getting a divorce?” Melissa slung her bag over her shoulders. </p><p>“Oh only a little bit, dear,” Mcnamara chuckled, “don’t worry, it’s not because of you.” <br/>———————————————————</p><p>“You better not be getting cold feet, John, this was your idea,” Schaeffer warned from her spot in the passenger seat. </p><p>“Oh I just,” he scratched his neck. “It’s an interesting role to play, right?” </p><p>“What, a husband and a father?” Xander reminded him in an attempt to calm him. “You know how to do those things!”</p><p>“Well I sure hope the concession stand can buy me being anything but a gay man,” he mumbled, messing up his hair. “Argh, sport, what sorta things do straight dads like?”</p><p>“Hey I have a straight dad!” Melissa piped up helpfully, her eyes still carefully on the road. “You want some tips?”</p><p>“Go ahead,” Mcnamara blinked, she had actually been surprisingly useful.</p><p>“Well dad’s yawn really loudly, and they constantly misplace their keys or their sunglasses and have to pat down all their pockets only to find they’re wearing them already, and my favourite part is that sometimes they wear funny silly little hats! But they only provide for their children financially and they shout a bit and go ‘make sure you’re studying!’ but it’s okay because they might take you fishing sometimes and that can be fun, I mean, if you like fishing,” she shrugged, quite thoughtful. “I didn’t.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ll drink to that,” Schaeffer sighed, rubbing a hand down the sleeve of her cardigan before recoiling at the texture which she clearly wasn’t a fan of. </p><p>“Sorry what was the middle part?” Xander stopped her, a little appalled they were going to walk right past that. “Are you alright?”</p><p>“Oh my god, my friend Paul hates it when do that. He says one adjective is enough and any more is overkill, but who’s gonna stop me?” she scoffed. “Ooh! Unless you mean the fishing thing? Well that is very kind of you to ask but it’s okay because I’ve got a cool new dad now right?” She glanced over her shoulder for a second at Mcnamara.</p><p>He bit down on his tongue so he didn’t speak, only nodding, eyes wide as he made a mental note not to get too attached. No wonder Schaeffer was a fan. <br/>“Alright, alright, we - family,” he begun, the more they could stay in character before they reached park territory the better. “Claire, dear, have you packed the bags?” </p><p>“Yes, of course, and I still don’t think that’s entirely necessary, John, we can be unhappily married if we so please.” She pulled the bag at her feet up onto her lap, patting it down. “There are three guns and a tranq in case we need it, and here.” She pulled out McNamara’s dog tags. “Just tuck it under your shirt.”</p><p>“Oh, family matching necklaces? Why don’t I get one?” Melissa asked, watching Mcnamara fiddle with his in her rear view mirror. </p><p>“They’re to identify soldiers if they’re unrecognisable when they die,” Xander explained, playing with the chains of his own.</p><p>“And I have no plans on letting you die,” Schaeffer added, a lot more sternly and not quite playing around. “This shouldn’t be dangerous though, your father-“ she stumbled over that word, “doesn’t want you anywhere near the-“ there wasn’t really any subtle way to say ‘God Murder.’ “You can stay with me while they handle that.” </p><p>“Is the god a clown?” Melissa asked. “Isn’t Watcherworld sort of a circus?” </p><p>Xander hushed everyone as Melissa’s car rolled onto unpaved road, pointing out the front window at the park ahead in the distance.</p><p>“Super weird they’d just put this amusement park in the middle of the woods,” Melissa noted loudly like she intended for Blinky to hear and clear them of suspicion.</p><p>“The Witchwoods are a strange place,” Mcnamara simply said, leaning forward and bringing his neck in to catch a glimpse of the park. “Let’s all stay together today alright gang? And let’s keep our spirits high.”</p><p>“Oh amusement parks only bother me a little bit when they’re too loud and busy but I think I’ll be fine!” She gave a positive smile, and that was when Mcnamara forgot the part they hadn’t explained to her. </p><p>He caught Xander looking his way too, and then at Schaeffer, and he made a signal with his hand to say no. The less she knew about Blinky the less she could reveal they were undercover.</p><p>“So, do we actually get to go on the roller coasters or anything today or are we just like, hanging out?” </p><p>“Just do what your mother says,” Mcnamara told her. </p><p>“Wow, this place is sort of empty,” Xander glanced out the windows at the car park that was just an endless plain of tarmac, sadly empty for 2pm, when business should’ve been booming. </p><p>“Yeah, Watcherworld doesn’t do very good financially, I’ve only been here once!” Melissa hummed as she focused on parking. “My parents just got way too frustrated about waiting in line that they almost got a divorce. Sorta overkill,” she frowned. </p><p>Schaeffer shook her head, patting a hand to the car’s console to tell her to keep her voice down now that they were in range, but once more no one had exactly explained to her that he could see everything, so she just lowered her voice and glanced the other way, a little crestfallen at the rejection but quick to perk back up as the car stopped.</p><p>“Oh god,” Mcnamara mumbled as he slid out of the parked car, holding a hand to his chest. He wasn’t nervous about hunting down Bliklotep’s vessel of course. All in a days work, but he didn’t know how good any of them would be under Blinky’s spell, and their plan was fairly loose anyways.</p><p>“What?” Schaeffer asked, breaking his train of thought.</p><p>“They’re gonna know,” he took a look at the concession booth, unclenching his hands from the car handle.</p><p>“What? How’re they gonna know?” She shook her head. Aside from the obvious of course, but Blinky didn’t run the concession booth.</p><p>“Well- she doesn’t even look like us, Schaeffer!” He kept his voice right down in a whispered hiss, gesturing towards Melissa who was cheerfully recounting something to Xander, who just seemed a little anxious about her.</p><p>“Oh don’t panic,” she snatched his hand out of the air. “This is a theme park not a DNA lab. Now hold my hand and smile.”</p><p>“Ugh,” he didn’t like it, her hands weren’t quite Xander’s and definitely not as smooth. “Why are your knuckles so messed up?” He brushed his thumb over them. Even his weren’t that bad and he had punched a lot of people.</p><p>“I used to punch trees for fun,” she gave him a warning look to stop asking so many questions, especially not right next to the concession line. “Didn’t you know dear?” She flashed a sharp smile before giving a more sympathetic look to tell him to keep calm. </p><p>There was only one more couple in line ahead of them, giving Mcnamara not very much time to collect himself. </p><p>“Hi! Welcome to Watcherworld! What can I do for you today?” Greeted the rather jovial man working the booth. </p><p>“Hello, yes,” he cleared his throat, stepping forward and keeping his hand tight around Schaeffer’s like if he let go the whole plan would crumble. “Can we please get a family ticket for my own family? For us I mean.”</p><p>There was a slight moment of hesitation from the vendor, and Mcnamara could literally feel his companion’s looks burning into his back. </p><p>Schaeffer stepped up a bit closer to handle the talking, and he moved to put a hand above her hip where he would usually rest his hand with Xander, but she slapped it off and he quickly let it rest on her shoulder instead, shooting a forced smile to the vendor, who was really not seeming to buy it. </p><p>“Of course, uh. No problem, but who’re you sir?” He pointed to Xander as he pulled out his ticket reel.</p><p>Xander and Schaeffer exchanged looks. “Family fri-“</p><p>“None of your business, sir,” Mcnamara snapped, mostly out of nerves. He didn’t think Blinky’s curse was getting to him just yet, but he apologised anyways. </p><p>“Oh, of course. He will have to buy his own adult ticket though, and how old is your daughter?” </p><p>Mcnamara turned to Schaeffer, figuring this was a more vital number not to mess up, only to see she had turned to him for the same reason. “Uhh,” they both droned. </p><p>“I’m turning nineteen in four months!” Melissa piped up. </p><p>“And I will pay for the very big party,” Mcnamara declared since apparently financial support was key to being a dad. </p><p>“Your eighteen year old drove the three of you here?” He questioned, not quite suspiciously but a little shocked. </p><p>“Uh, are you a cop or are you a ticket vendor sir?” Schaeffer’s grip on her hand was tight and he quickly let it go. She shook her head, apologising. “That’s a joke,” she assured him.</p><p>“Ahah, of course ma’am, I’m very sorry, here,” he slid the tickets and the kid band across the desk, and Mcnamara paid for it as he was told a convincing dad would. </p><p>He was busy putting his card back into his wallet as he heard Melissa let out an anxious chuckle. “Look at that,” she was whispering to Schaeffer. </p><p>She glanced up, letting out a laugh and rolling her eyes. “No. It’s- don’t worry about it. That’s not true. It’s a joke.”</p><p>There was a decal on the concession booth, and it was printed again over the turnstiles in purple text. ‘Trespassers will be eaten by the sniggles,’ signed by security. </p><p>Well he certainly hoped that wasn’t true, that would make things much more difficult. </p><p>They wandered through the gates in silence, and Mcnamara braced himself to be struck by the curse, but he felt nothing, and even managed a smile at the sight of a child nagging their parents for one of the plush toy mascots by the gate.</p><p>“Can I get one mom?” Melissa tugged at Schaeffer’s hand teasingly, pointing at the colourful, well stocked display of toys. </p><p>“No, don’t be a brat,” Schaeffer snorted, their heads tilted together to share a laugh under the rattling of the roller coaster that swooped down right above their heads across its tracks with a thrilled scream of its passengers. </p><p>“Alright gang! Here we are,” Mcnamara put his hands on his hips, striding forward a few steps just to move out of the walkway. “So, kid, is this what you hoped?”</p><p>Melissa nodded if not a bit hesitantly. “It’s very purple. Mom says I can’t get one of those plush toys though, can I get one dad?” </p><p>“No you can’t dear,” he shook his head, because the dolls where probably a little haunted and that wasn’t what they were here for. </p><p>“Oh my god. I hate it here,” she huffed. “Well that t-shirt makes you look like Garfield,” she shot back rather unprompted before her hand flew to her mouth as if to take it back. </p><p>“Melissa!” Schaeffer snorted, grabbing her shoulder and shaking her head firmly. “Behave yourself!”</p><p>Melissa laughed into her hand, shoulders tense and raised to protect herself. “Sorry, sorry dad. I didn’t mean that I was just being silly.”</p><p>“Hah!” Mcnamara rolled his eyes, actually rather calmed by that. He shot Xander a grin. If this was the extent of Bliklotep’s spell well, he had definitely been called worse. “I think orange is my colour, Melissa, dont you?”</p><p>“Oh, god no,” Xander cackled, elbowing him. “Not orange, John.”</p><p>“Orange is not a colour for today,” Schaeffer chimed in. </p><p>“Orange is my least favourite colour,” Melissa added for whatever reason. He wanted to tell her to perhaps leave it to the adults. They couldn’t go saying whatever they wanted today. But maybe that was just anxiety or Blinky’s influence taking its roots.</p><p>“Mine is blue,” Schaeffer replied though.</p><p>Xander glanced over his shoulder from where he was walking besides Mcnamara. “What are you two on about?”</p><p>“Let them talk about colours if they want, we’re fostering a good education for our child Xander,” Mcnamara cut in, holding out a hand in mock warning. “Are you going to tell us how to parent?”</p><p>“Hey kid, I’ll buy you a doll once all this is done,” he offered. </p><p>“Oh, hell yeah!” </p><p>“I’m a cool uncle,” he teased before trailing off, his voice dropping all of a sudden as he nudged McNamara’s shoulder, tipping his head to the side.</p><p>Behind them, following a few steps back was a mascot costume. An awfully tall one too, but it had a remarkably steady waddle for something that heavy headed.</p><p>The four of them moved off the track to let it walk by, its head turning to watch them as it did so. </p><p>“Wow, that’s Blinky!” Xander piped up enthusiastically when the two of them made eye contact. “Hey, kid, don’t you want to go say hello to him?” He went to pat Melissa’s shoulder but she had pressed herself right back into Schaeffer’s side. </p><p>“I don’t like the way that thing is looking at me,” she shook her head, staring up at its enormous yellow eye that seemed to be staring at the four of them at once. </p><p>“I don’t think I like it either,” Schaeffer grabbed Melissa’s shoulder tighter.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Blinky is your friend!” A little voice spoke up, and he held out one of his stubby arms as if to ask for their hand. “Don’t you want to hang out with Blinky?”</p><p>Mcnamara was fairly sure it was onto them, and so he nodded, if not only in an attempt to shift suspicion away. “Yeah! Come on gang, what would you recommend Blinky?” He asked curiously, his neck aching from looking up at it, but he wasn’t letting his guard down.</p><p>It placed its hand on McNamara’s head, and it laughed, ruffling his hair. He could hear a few children giggling as they passed by too.</p><p>“Oh, very funny Blinky,” he said, trying not to get fur in his mouth. He would look forward to killing this thing later on. He took the suit’s hand off its head, giving it a firm shake. “Well I think we’re friends already, love,” he tried to joke. </p><p>“Oh that’s so lovely, dear,” Schaeffer winced.</p><p>“Follow Blinky, follow me!” He skipped ahead. He took McNamara’s hand in his paw, although he didn’t really have thumbs so it wasn’t very convenient. </p><p>“I guess we’re following Blinky,” Xander cast a look back to make sure Schaeffer and Melissa we’re following along, and they set off along side their new companion. </p><p>Mcnamara could feel the other scattered patrons stopping in their tracks to stare at the giant mascot as he walked by, even the heads of the vendors lined up along the paths swivelled to watch them go by. </p><p>Xander was still walking by his side, but Schaeffer had drawn back a few steps, an amused smirk on her face as she watched him walk hand in hand down the path with the monster they planned to slaughter later tonight. Well, he looked rather harmless in the day time. </p><p>“Blinky is so happy you came to play with us today! You can try all the rides and you can meet my sniggle friends! And you can stay here all day long!” He cheered, squeezing McNamara’s hand.</p><p>He knew the suit was Blikloteps vessel, but it was disturbing that all he could feel inside its hand was stuffing, especially when it was this well articulated. </p><p>Blinky rambled on despite most of his chatter getting drowned out by the roar of a roller coaster or the cheery jingles being blasted from the speakers of all the carts and shops. It made it hard to think. He was still waving at passerby’s and occasionally stopping in his tracks to show Mcnamara a silly novelty hat or to sing along to one of the songs playing off the radios. </p><p>They weren’t going very fast, but he would probably blow his cover if he yelled at it to hurry up. </p><p>“Blinky has lots of friends here today!” He sung, waving at guests as they passed by. “But you’re my special friend today John!” </p><p>“Oh! You know my name,” he slapped a hand to the side of his hip to stifle his surprise, really hoping that was all Blinky knew. </p><p>“Blinky wants to know everything about his new friend! What are you here for today?” He questioned, despite the cheery, cartoony tone Blinky spoke with it felt like an interrogation. </p><p>“Well our daughter got a very good mark on her exams and we’re simply rewarding her hard study efforts!” Mcnamara explained, assuming Melissa and Schaeffer were still following somewhere behind him. “Our daughter likes amusement parks.”</p><p>“Oh well Blinky is glad you came, John and Xander!” He announced loudly for anyone close enough to hear, then his grip tightened in McNamara’s hand. If there was muscle under that suit he might’ve crushed his hand. “Let’s be good friends, alright, John?” His head turned to the side, staring the General down.</p><p>“Of course, Blinky, sure,” he yanked his hand back from the suit’s, rubbing it but keeping his eyes unblinking on the suit to maintain what dominance he still had here.</p><p>“This is my favourite!” Blinky pointed ahead at a purple building that had no line. ‘Blinky’s maze of mirrors’ it read in grand text hanging from the roof, a few Blinky cartoon cutouts standing by innocently with paws pointed towards the door.</p><p>“Yeah, buddy?” Mcnamara rolled up his sleeves, waving his companions over. “D’you recommend it?” But he was already skipping on ahead.</p><p>“I don’t like mascots,” Melissa shook her head. “Can I wait outside?”</p><p>Schaeffer nodded, and Mcnamara agreed. If Blinky was laying a trap for them he didn’t want a civilian anywhere near it. </p><p>“Xander, could you wait with her?” Mcnamara asked, one hand brushing over his shoulder as he did so but not without a disapproving look from Schaeffer. “I’ll go in with Claire.” </p><p>Xander nodded, “of course,” before falling back in step with Melissa to go find somewhere to wait. </p><p>“I don’t think it’s quite Xander’s style,” he added, not really wanting him to get disorientated by the lighting. “Let’s go, my dearest wife,” he announced much to Schaeffer’s distaste. They both had to make eye contact to figure out whether or not they were going to hold hands and even then their fingers didn’t quite interlace.</p><p>“I hate it,” Schaeffer murmured as they entered through the door, the lights dimming. Everything was lit by a neon purple light strip overhead that was flickering and sputtering, making it impossible to see his own reflection in half the mirrors.</p><p>“It’s certainly something,” he clicked his tongue, trying to make out his own face.<br/>He stopped to lean up against the glass and check his eyes. He pulled at the skin to check they were still blue and hadn’t gone purple, although fortunately he was still feeling quite level headed.</p><p>“Why’d you stop in the middle of the path, John?” Schaeffer nudged him. “Yes, your eyes are still beautiful dear now let’s get moving.” </p><p>He managed to catch a glimpse of hers too. They weren’t really purple, he supposed it was just her natural short temper. “Of course, Claire,” he patted her shoulder with his other hand and they continued moving slowly through the maze. </p><p>It was hard to ignore the scowl on Schaeffer’s face at the whole thing, it was clear she was trying not to look at herself so she seemed to have just resorted to grimacing at him. </p><p>“Just stay calm,” he tried to tell her soothingly, even if it came out a bit forced. </p><p>“What are we here for?” She asked. “Just because Blinky told us to?”</p><p>“Well yes, just because Blinky told us to.” He couldn’t really announce he was investigating when Blinky could see all. </p><p>Schaeffer nodded, although she didn’t quite get it. And he was a bit lost too, there wasn’t much to investigate but his own reflection. </p><p>“There’s an exit sign up on the wall,” Schaeffer tugged at his hand to stop him, craning her neck up. “Right to our left,” she pointed. </p><p>There was a faded red exit sign hidden in the shadows, not quite visible under the eerie purple glow. </p><p>“Well, that’s probably the exit,” he explained rather matter of factly, it was a little blunt he thought for a second but that worry was quickly wiped out by the fact he was also correct.</p><p>“Yes but what else are we doing in this damn place?” She gave him an incredulous look that was rather uncalled for. She tugged him in the direction of the exit sign. “It was probably just a distraction.” </p><p>“We’ve been in here for not even five minutes, Claire,” he tapped his watch. “Enjoy yourself. We’re here all day.” </p><p>Schaeffer gave a frustrated chuckle. “John, what are you expecting to find in a public attraction? He pointed us to the mirror maze, I don’t know what you think- oooh,” her hand dropped from his and she turned to the mirror. “Sorry, John,” she apologised for raising her voice. “Look at us,” she tugged down the sleeves of her cardigan since they weren’t quite reaching her wrists. She turned on the heels of her boots, running a hand through her hair. </p><p>Mcnamara raised a brow. “What are you doing?” For as long as he had known her she had never really been the type to fuss over her appearance. He was fairly sure she didn’t even have a mirror in her dorm at the barracks.</p><p>“It’s nothing,” she didn’t tell him, but she didn’t take his hand as they navigated through the maze, scowling at their reflections.</p><p>He steered them back away from the exit sign, not out of spite he told himself, just because he wanted to explore the maze properly! He had paid a hell of a lot for the tickets so he was going to get his money’s worth. </p><p>“Is orange really not my colour?” He asked, thinking that was a bit out of place for Xander to have said. Perhaps they were more under his influence than they thought. He thought he looked fine in orange.</p><p>Schaeffer shrugged. “I think you’re more of a purple person.” </p><p>“Uh, straight forward answer please Claire,” he requested.</p><p>“Hey, watch your tone. I don’t know shit about fashion,” she pointed out, realising they had drifted from the exit sign but resigning not to fight with her General.</p><p>Perhaps things were getting to them. He bit down on his lip in a motion of apology since he wasn’t the most expressive. She caught it in the reflection of the mirror and she heaved a sigh in return, nodding and crossing her arms to follow along without a word. </p><p>“Are you getting a headache?” He asked.</p><p>She nodded her head up. “From the music. That’s all.” It was a repetitive, looping sort of circus music with a clear cut off point where the notes didn’t quite join together. It was on its third loop now and Mcnamara was starting to wonder whether Blinky’s curse was entirely made up and people only got angry over how low budget the park was. </p><p>“Maybe we should head out,” he offered her, just because his headache was getting bad too. It pulsed right at the back of his brain at the base of his skull like it was bruising the bone. </p><p>“We could’ve done that ten minutes ago if you had listened to me,” she just pointed out before shaking her head in another apology. She waved a hand over her eye in a swift gesture as if to imply it was Blinky’s doing. </p><p>He didn’t want to ignore her, but he couldn’t think of anything pleasant to say so he settle for an ‘mmm’ and they both picked up their paces towards the door.</p><p>“Hey, that isn’t the way to the exit is it?” Schaeffer asked as they passed by a gap in the mirrors, pulling on his arm to point down a shady corridor in the mirrors where the lighting wasn’t quite working. </p><p>“The exit is over there,” he shook his head and pointed his hand up at the sign still a few twists and turns away. </p><p>“Yes but we’ve been around this corner before,” Schaeffer was good with directions. “It just loops back around to the left side. We were just over there, we haven’t been down here.”</p><p>“It’s this way,” he shook his head, wanting to get out of the maze before the music looped a forth time. “I’m just following the sign.” He took her hand again, loosely and more towards the base of her wrist since neither of them were really enjoying it. It was only to keep her with him as he turned the corners, looping in the way of the exit sign quickly. </p><p>“Where the hell is the door?” Schaeffer’s grip on his hand tightened, bothered as they turned a corner he was quite sure they had already been past. </p><p>“Well I’m just heading towards the exit sign, I don’t know the way out of the maze, Claire,” he added matter of factly, “it’s a maze.” He just picked up his pace as he realised the song was drawing to its end. </p><p>she pulled him the other way instead of turning the corner he was trying to lead them down. “I know what a maze is, John, but I don’t know how you’ve gotten us this lost.”</p><p>“Well maybe you don’t quite know what a maze is then, Claire!” He pushes past her to take the lead again as to not relinquish his role. </p><p>All around him the mirrors copied, seemingly running just a few seconds behind, flickering in an out of view as the lights above did the same. </p><p>“Oh this place is designed like this on purpose!” She snapped, shielding her eyes from the mirrors and focusing on the floor below her instead. </p><p>The little jingle playing through the cheap speakers was currently at his least favourite part: The end, and he felt a wave of heaviness hit him in the single beat of silence before the jingle started back up again, cheery and peppy until the noise was interrupted by a frustrated scream from right behind him.</p><p>He whipped around, bracing himself as Schaeffer took in a sharp breath and swung out a hand, in the split second before he ducked he could’ve sworn he had seen the reflection of someone standing at the end of the hall. </p><p>The spitting purple lights blacked out for a second and Mcnamara opened his eyes to the sound of glass shattering, as the mirror besides Schaeffer rained to the ground in a thousand pieces. </p><p>“Oh well that’s just great! We’re still lost and now my hand is bleeding and if I hear this song a fifth time I’m gonna break my way out of here!” </p><p>“Jeez, Schaeff-!” He cut himself short right in time. “Dear! Oh my god,” he reached out for her hand just to see how bad it was but she wouldn’t let him touch it. </p><p>“Look, on the bright side the door is right on the other side of this wall,” her fist was shaking. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to punch you. But my temper is very short right now!”</p><p>Through the now shattered mirror he could see a slither of natural light where the exit door was, and he ushered her on forward around the turn, nodding. “Right, right. Let’s get out of here before you break anything else.” </p><p>With a few more corners, he could finally see the door, and he had never been so pleased to hear the good old sounds of OH&amp;S violating roller coasters and children crying. </p><p>“Well if I didn’t know any better I think Blinky mighta done that to us on purpose!” Schaeffer forced a very over the top laugh to compensate for the anger very evidently coursing through her, shaking her bleeding hand as the other rested on her hip. She was at least smiling to be out of there despite the wild frustration still present in her eyes. </p><p>“What was the Southern accent for?” He asked, grabbing her shoulder to walk her back around to the front, that was all just a waste of time.</p><p>“To cope!” She announced, as loud as it was full of false cheer. “But I might need first aid on another note,” she added a beat later, the adrenaline wearing off quickly, leaving her with a scowl.</p><p>“Okay, okay, let’s go.” He hurried her back up the pathway to the front of the building where Xander and Melissa glanced up from their bench before raising to meet them half way. </p><p>“Oh! Oh no what happened?” Melissa grabbed Schaeffer’s arm, shrugging her backpack off to fish through it for her first aid kit. </p><p>Mcnamara fell into Xander’s side, their hands grazing each other behind his back for a moment. “Well that was a nightmare,” he grumbled. </p><p>“Oofh, glad I didn’t go,” Xander took one of his hands in his, checking his eyes with a glance. “Any news?”</p><p>Xander’s were still their lovely brown. “No, it was all a waste. Blinky just said he really liked it, maybe we’ll check it again later,” he reported as casually as he could. “But my dear wife here got very upset and punched a mirror and we should probably take her to first aid,” he put in after, gesturing with a nod of his head to Schaeffer’s pool of blood in her palm. Bandaids were not quite cutting it. </p><p>“Oh god I swear John,” Schaeffer cut in. “We look just like my sister and her husband, and it’s driving me insane. I have to get rid of this stupid cardigan.” She shook her head, rubbing her eyes and leaving a smear of blood across her cheek. </p><p>“Oh what do you have against Mr Davidson?” Melissa frowned, unlinking herself from Schaeffer’s arm but still leading the way to where First Aid was located as the colonel pulled off her cardigan. Mcnamara didn’t think she quite looked like a suburban mother anymore, but he also was fairly sure Blinky knew already.</p><p>“You only like him because he’s your boss but he isn’t mine, and I will dislike him all I want.” </p><p>Melissa’s lip stiffened and she gave Schaeffer a funny look. “He’s perfectly lovely, I mean except the other day he gave me this whole stack of papers in the last hour to get done and that wasn’t very cool,” she seemed to remember, her demeanour changing quite quickly. </p><p>“See? Exactly. I wouldn’t trust that man, I know he’s up to something,” Schaeffer almost bragged. “I don’t care if my sister loves him, I don’t have to.”</p><p>Melissa shook her head. “Look, I don’t wanna have this conversation I don’t think, I’ve got a really bad headache, can we just get you to first aid?”</p><p>“Headache?” Xander stepped back so he was walking between the two women. “John, perhaps we should-“</p><p>“Get some lunch after this!” He interrupted. Keen to stick to his plan of leaving that detail out. Melissa was a civilian and he didn’t need to give her PEIP’s inner information like that. He didn’t remember what for though anymore, not when his own headache was pounding away. “Sorry, Xander. For cutting you off there,” he added. It just felt a bit easier to shout than to be patient with everyone right now. He had to make an effort to keep an eye on his temper while he was there but he figured he could blame it on Schaeffer’s open wound. </p><p>“Yeah, that would be good,” Melissa crossed her arms over her stomach, hanging her head as she hurried onwards towards the first aid booth. </p><p>Schaeffer stuffed her cardigan into the bag she was carrying without much care for the blood she just got all over it, scrunching it up and haphazardly zipping the bag up again, the sleeve still hanging out. </p><p>“What do I tell them?” She asked Mcnamara so they could keep their stories straight. “Don’t wanna get kicked out for property damage.” </p><p>“Just don’t tell them,” Mcnamara waved a hand dismissively as the colonel turned into the First Aid booth where Melissa was waiting outside, rubbing her head.</p><p>“Oh this is gonna be a long day,” Xander leant up against the booth’s wall, his hand brushing over Mcnamara’s. “Oh this would’ve been hell with a whole team,” he snickered. </p><p>“Ah well let me tell you I don’t think it’ll be much better with just the four of us,” he added light heartedly albeit a little exhausted as he leant up against the wall besides Xander, shielding his eyes from the boiling beat of the sun. “You have way too much personal dirt on me, you’d better not go spilling it,” he joked for the most part. </p><p>“Oh, well right back at you,” he turned his head to McNamara’s side, his forehead just touching the curls of John’s hair, their fingers interlacing.</p><p>He rubbed a thumb over the back of Xander’s hand, he liked it much more than Schaeffer’s. </p><p>“Handling it all still?” He sort of had to think about formulating that sentence and not just because of his headache. It just felt difficult to be kind. </p><p>“Ah, yeah,” Xander nodded, trying to keep cool. It was hard to tell what was going on behind his shades though. “It’s giving me a killer headache though. Y’reckon that’s him?” </p><p>He was about to answer when he noticed Melissa glancing up to tune in on the conversation. “Maybe we’re just hungry,” he suggested instead. “How does lunch sound, gang?” He asked the two of them.</p><p>Melissa nodded a little hesitantly. “Thank you dad,” she wasn’t used to using that word so fluently with him. “I just want some water,” she returned to rubbing her head. </p><p>“Ah, we’re gonna be okay Zee,” he leaned into him, one hand raising to rub his cheek. “Ah, I shouldn’t.” He lowered it again but Xander raised his to keep it there.</p><p>“It’s in the gay subtext,” Xander reminded him before leaning in for a kiss. </p><p>“Oh I don’t think mom’s gonna be happy about this,” came Melissa’s quiet voice as she tapped her fingers together. </p><p>But Mcnamara did lean into it. If they wound up getting in an argument today it might be the last kiss he could get for a while. </p><p>“Oh lucky me,” came Schaeffer’s heavy sigh. “I’m telling you, Melissa, love isn’t worth it. Come on John, you bastard,” she snatched his shoulder to separate them, with a guilty laugh from the lieutenant. </p><p>“Oh come on, Claire, it’s no big deal don’t get worked up over it,” Xander shrugged, a little confidently if in perhaps a cover for snark. He went to elbow her jokingly but she slapped his elbow away from her side as a sharp reminder she didn’t appreciate being touched. Xander played it off with a laugh.</p><p>She wasn’t nearly as amused though, staring daggers at him as she fiddled with the bandages around her palm. Okay, perhaps he was blowing the mission a bit but who cared if the theme park workers thought he was having an affair? They weren’t gonna make him change his ticket prices or kick him out or anything. </p><p>“Uh, come on dear we’re going to go get some lunch. Our daughter has a headache I’d like to buy her some water,” he informed her of their next plan of action. “Hot today, isn’t it?” He ran a hand through his hair. </p><p>“Yes, dear,” Schaeffer returned it a little bitterly. “Come on, Melissa. I’ll get you something to drink.”</p><p>“Thank you, is your hand okay?” She moped, slipping one arm around Schaeffer’s just so she wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. </p><p>“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me,” she turned her hand around to examine the bandages. </p><p>Perhaps he was slightly paranoid of how fast she was getting angry but he was relieved to see she couldn’t quite make a fist when her hand was bandaged up. </p><p>There clearly weren’t many visitors to the theme park, even for the weekend, but the most of them that were were all gathered in the food court area, their mumbles and growls and the cries of young children all bubbled together to contrast with the happy theme song playing from the overhead speakers. </p><p>At least it wasn’t the one from the mirror maze. </p><p>“Now who wants to eat?” Mcnamara asked, halting them by one of the free tables, even if it was messy from its last patrons there was a lack of seating. Whether that was another trick to infuriate people or whether they just knew they didn’t get many customers, he wasn’t sure. </p><p>Schaeffer shook her head, and Xander shrugged. And he knew he wasn’t hungry, so what were they even here for? “So no one’s actually hungry?” </p><p>Melissa drew her shoulders up defensively at his tone and he gave his head a small shake to remind himself to think first. His headache was still eating at his brain but he figured they knew what they were in for today, if he was a little snappy they could pass it off. </p><p>“You wanted water,” Xander reminded him like it was obvious. “It’s nearly three, is no one hungry?” </p><p>“Melissa when did you have breakfast?” Mcnamara cut in to play the role of the father again, trying to stay in character around all the staff working the many purple food trucks. He could almost feel them watching him of all people in the crowd.</p><p>“Like, eight?” She answered awkwardly. “I had some yoghurt but I’m not really hungry I just wanted something to drink,” she played with her fingers, her hands slowly crawling up to her hair to pull at instead. “I don’t really like carnival food though,” she insisted. </p><p>“Well it’s on me kid and I really think you should eat. What d’you want?” Mcnamara really wished she’d just go get something, he wanted to sit down without looking like they were stealing the last table and she was the one complaining about her headache.</p><p>“Uh, you don’t have to have lunch if you don’t want,” Schaeffer held up a hand to Mcnamara to say she was handling it. “I don’t know what your father is doing, John, just go line up and get some water. It’s about ninety degrees out here it’s not gonna look weird!” She bumped her bandaged hand to his shoulder in warning.</p><p>With a scowl, he hurried off to go wait in line, watching the three of them take a seat, Melissa still glued to the colonel’s arm. He didn’t get why she got to be so angry about today, he was clearly the one with the short end of the stick pretending he wasn’t into Xander and adopting a kid he had never met before. God and the weather wasn’t helping either. The back of his shirt was sticking to the skin of his back and was starting to piss him off too. </p><p>He let out a growl below his breath at the person at the front of the line with the ridiculously lengthy order. He just wanted four bottles of water why was every food cart cued up? They had all of twelve cars in the car park, he thought at least. The memory seemed sort of far away. He had forgotten. But yet everyone seemed to be here right now. </p><p>He licked his dry lips as he stepped forward a place in line, trying to block out the father arguing with his son who had just lined up behind him. </p><p>Oh he was going to kill this god so hard for all of this. </p><p>“Can we just get four bottles of water and some fries?” He started tapping his card on the machine. He was all for respecting hospitality workers obviously but this one was part of an evil god cult and was taking forever to set up the eftpos machine on purpose. </p><p>“Take this and we’ll bring the food to your table,” the worker handed him a disk instead of his order.</p><p>“Can I have my water now though?” He asked, considering they were sitting in the cool display fridge right there where he could see them.</p><p>“We’ll bring them to your table,” the worker replied more sternly, their expression not patient and sort of clashing with their stupid Blinky hat. </p><p>He just snatched up the disc to storm back to his table, probably to wait twenty minutes for water he could’ve received in ten seconds just then. </p><p>He could see Schaeffer explaining something to the table already as he marched over but she trailed off as he joined, leaving him without a clue of what sort of discussion was just occurring.</p><p>“Where’s the water?” Xander asked. </p><p>“We have to wait for it,” he smacked the buzzer down on the table, dropping down in the seat besides Xander, hands clasped together. “And you know they were five dollars a bottle too!” </p><p>“Are we gonna go on any rides?” Melissa wad rocking herself where she sat.</p><p>“Of course not. They’re hardly safe I don’t want you crashing and dying just because these guys skimp out on the regulations,” Schaeffer shook her head.</p><p>“They’re supposed to make people mad,” Mcnamara added. From his brief research on the park beforehand he wasn’t surprised to find out the wait times were manufactured to be longer by having less carts, and that the voice-over instructions were high pitched on purpose. </p><p>“Meaning?” Melissa tilted her head. </p><p>“Uh,” Xander glanced to Mcnamara but he turned to Schaeffer. She was looking back at him.</p><p>“So you didn’t even tell her-?”</p><p>“Hey she’s your-“ he paused. “Daughter.” </p><p>Melissa leant in. “Tell me what?“</p><p>“Nothing, Melissa, your father has a heart condition he can’t ride the rides,” Schaeffer simply passed it off. </p><p>“Oh well Xander do you wanna come?” She turned to the Lieutenant instead but he just shrugged. </p><p>“Oh my god, this family is so boring, what the hell?” She groaned, very loudly. </p><p>It made Xander shake his head, it was probably a bit too much noise at once and even Mcnamara could’ve done without it. “Don’t make me regret adopting you, kid,” he managed a laugh to try to diffuse the situation but she just flopped her head down into the crook of her arm that she was resting on the table. </p><p>Schaeffer gave her a solid pat on the back but then she sprung back up, shaking her head. “The table is gross, I hate it here.” </p><p>“You have a lot to complain about,” Xander almost seemed impressed, pushing his shades back up his face before starting to drum his hands on the table, just to drown out the other noises. </p><p>“Ahh sorry, it’s a talent,” Melissa groomed her hair back over her ears as if to try and block out some of the foodcourt’s noise herself. </p><p>And then the buzzer went off, as if they needed any extra nuisances. </p><p>And it went off for three minutes straight, Mcnamara was glad to have an excuse not to talk, and it’s not like they were in a rush today but why was it taking three minutes for the staff to find their table? There were only about ten tables here! Take a guess! </p><p>“Here you are!” It was not a waiter who delivered their food to them but a much smaller looking employee suited up like a mascot - a sniggle.</p><p>“Thanks, for that,” he muttered as the worker placed down only three bottles of water with a smile. “And we’ll bring your meals right out!” They placed the buzzer back down on the table but Mcnamara reached out to grab their shoulder before they could waddle away. “No. This is just fine. Thanks. Don’t worry about the food, keep the change.” </p><p>“Oh, is everything alright sir?” The sniggle asked, hands clasped together in what could’ve been actual concern as compared to some of the other workers. </p><p>“Ah, yes. Yes. Are we all fine?” He turned to his three companions who all gave hesitant nods, looking between themselves and the sniggle and the three bottles of water that had just been delivered. </p><p>Mcnamara held his hands to his temple again, exhaling a sigh. “Dear can you just pass me my water?” </p><p>Beside him, he felt Xander move, and a whole lot faster to the point than Schaeffer was, when he raised his head there were two bottles of water sitting by him. </p><p>The sniggle blinked, jaw slightly open.</p><p>Mcnamara took in a deep breath, waving the sniggle away. </p><p>It loitered anxiously for a second before hopping off in a hurry. </p><p>“Claire,” he said, a tone of warning to his voice as he cracked open the drink bottle. And she said he was the one blowing this mission. “You’re dear. Not you, Xander.” </p><p>“Uh, I was just close to the bottle,” he stammered out his reasoning. “John I think you’re losing your temper a bit.”</p><p>“Well it’s hard to help it,” he retorted. “This park is a bastard.”</p><p>Melissa had sort of curled in on herself, shoulders hunched in and legs crossed on the seat.</p><p>“What’s the matter, Melissa?” He leant across the table so he didn’t have to waste time if she hadn’t heard him. </p><p>“I don’t know what everyone is so angry about I just hate all this arguing,” she kept her hands close to her stomach. </p><p>“Oh well that’s gonna be a problem because they haven’t quite fulfilled their order here.” He had already given a water bottle to Schaeffer since she was getting a bit of a short fuse. He and Xander could’ve probably shared but Schaeffer would probably make a fuss out of it knowing her and that meant someone wasn’t getting one. </p><p>“It’s okay,” she shook her head, pulling out a drink bottle from her backpack. “You can have it.” </p><p>Schaeffer shot her a concerned look out of the corner of her eye. “You’re well organised, kid.” </p><p>She seemed to smile at that, returning to rocking herself in her seat but a little cheerier now. </p><p>Good, good. That’s what he needed. “Good work, gang,” he tried to level with them, not that he had really helped. “I was thinking of going to the drowsy time station for the sniggle show,” he explained as their next point of action. Any mention of drowsy town was suspicious and worth checking out. Probably better than the mirror maze.</p><p>“Aww, the sniggle show?” Melissa turned in search of the mascot that had just served them. “They look like fun!”</p><p>Her enthusiasm was not quite met, and only Xander gave a small ‘aha’ in response, focused on drinking his water, probably to dull his own headache.  </p><p>“Come on. We don’t need to sit here let’s go see if we can get the front of the line,” he crunched up his now empty water bottle, tossing it to the bin but missing. </p><p>He stood there for a second just to make sure he didn’t snap before walking over shamefully to put it in. Usually he was really great with his aim. </p><p>He took in a deep breath, falling into step with Xander as they headed off. </p><p>The tips of his fingers vanished under his shades to rub his eyes. “Why didn’t we bring water in the first place?”</p><p>“Well the bags got pretty full,” he explained. “With, you know.” Guns and the like. </p><p>There wasn’t much talking left to do, not when he was fairly sure they all had the same headache that was either from the summer sun or the curse. It felt like something was inside his brain.</p><p>He didn’t want to say anything he would regret, so he kept his mouth shut and listened to whatever Melissa was babbling about behind him to the colonel instead.</p><p>Already there were a few people milling about the entrance, cueing up outside the doors, aching heads lulled or mumbling quiet retorts amongst each other. </p><p>Mcnamara straightened his back, swallowing his headache for a second and squinting in the sun for where the line ended, but it wasn’t orderly enough.</p><p>“Oh I wouldn’t be having this back at work,” he muttered to his gang, wedging himself in between a two trios who didn’t seem to take much notice considering how busy arguing they were. </p><p>“I think that’s only a ‘you guys’ thing,” Melissa clarified, doing quite a good job and staying undercover at least. Although that did come with not being told half the information. </p><p>They were let into the building slowly, ushered in by an oddly familiar looking man in a suit, but Mcnamara couldn’t quite place it, nor could he be bothered to. </p><p>The family in front of them was let in but they were halted at the door for no clear reason. Just where Mcnamara could feel cool air inside but was still exposed to the baking sun on his back.</p><p>Eventually, a shorter girl game to the man’s side. “No big bags in the show room, would you like us to take it to the cloak room?” She offered with a pleasant smile, hand outstretched to take the bag Schaeffer was carrying.</p><p>Mcnamara hesitated. “Uh. It’s actually important it has my-“</p><p>“Here,” Schaeffer slipped it off her shoulder to hand over, and he noticed the cardigan had been tucked in properly this time. </p><p>Without another word they were ushered inside to their seats. </p><p>“What’d you do?” Mcnamara whispered. “I was going to take care of it.”</p><p>“Well I did. Everything is wrapped up. They won’t be able to tell unless they pry. Also you won’t believe how deep these pockets go.”</p><p>“Oh you’ve got-?” He didn’t really like the idea of her just having a gun in her pocket. </p><p>“Yes. Do you want one?” </p><p>“Claire oh my god-“</p><p>Xander hushed them both as the overhead lights flicked on and the colourful mascots flooded the stage with laughter as one of them lead the opening to the jingle and the others harmonised. </p><p>“Oh, that’s good right?” Melissa laughed. “Those guys don’t look like they can eat us for trespassing,” she still exchanged looks with the others to see if they would confirm this. “They seem really safe and harmless,” she further prompted. “Right?” </p><p>Schaeffer gave her a sort of nod but Xander and Mcnamara just glanced at her, he didn’t quite remembering what she was referencing. Xander probably just wanted her to keep her voice down. </p><p>When no one answered her she sunk back into her seat, hitting the heel of her palm to her forehead. “Why is everyone in such a bad mood? I’m trying really hard to be happy but you guys aren’t making it easy!” </p><p>Xander hushed her. Schaeffer hushed him back.</p><p>“You two,” Mcnamara tried to intervene until the person in the row behind them hissed a ‘shut up already!’ And the four of them fell silent except for Schaeffer who scowled: “You aren’t missing anything important.”</p><p>And then they were quiet. At least telling the man off was pretty satisfying, it even seemed to give him some relief in his headache just to hear Schaeffer say it.</p><p>The Sniggles continued their song and dance in their silly costumes, he wondered how they could hold their microphones in those big paw gloves. Comically big, they looked sort of like boxing gloves. </p><p>Besides him, Xander gaped at something, although he didn’t know what.</p><p>Everything was going fine he supposed, he didn’t recognise the jingle though and it was pretty jumpy, a little too hard to grasp onto the lyrics although some strange words were showing up here and there like ‘boss’ and ‘eat,’ and people weren’t really laughing.</p><p>He really hoped it wasn’t all a musical though. It was bad, not even Xander seemed to be enjoying it. His jaw had dropped, Mcnamara however had been lost on the first scene.</p><p>He didn’t quite get what they were bringing mallets out for though, he must’ve missed a part. He thought this was a kid show and the way they were pounding the mallets into decorative ‘snuggle bugs’ was making Melissa flinch. </p><p>Whenever they would hit them, loud buzzers would go off overhead and purple lights would flash, a cheery trumpet noise playing over the background music.</p><p>Xander‘s face had screwed up like he was trying to block out the noise, Mcnamara began to rub a hand through his beard, the both of them a bit overwhelmed. </p><p>He didn’t know if it was part of the show or not when the mallet smacked into one of the other performers on stage, knocking them to the floor with a vibrant stream of blood spraying into the air. </p><p>With a couple of screams of shock from the audience some shouts were called and the curtains dropped, staff members rushing down through the aisle and through the curtains. </p><p>“Well that was a really weird way to end the show,” Melissa bit down on her thumb. “Why’d that last bit look staged?” </p><p>Mcnamara had thought the spray of blood seemed comical. </p><p>People began to murmur quite loudly, not sure whether to get up or stay in their seats or ask for help. </p><p>“That was a weird song,” Xander said as Mcnamara tried to make a call on what to do next.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You didn’t hear it?” He asked the three of them a bit incredulously. “None of you? None of it?” </p><p>“Man if it doesn’t have subtitles,” Melissa started with a shake of her head. “I mean kinda?”</p><p>“Oh, all just noise for me,” Mcnamara confirmed.</p><p>“I was thinking about something else,” Schaeffer admitted. </p><p>“Jeez. You’re doing a great job today gang,” he rolled his eyes as he leant to the other side of his chair like he was trying to put distance between them. “I wanna get out of here the noise is really just everywhere,” he groaned, blocking his shades from the flashing purple lights with one hand and shifting his dog tag up his neck like it wasn’t sitting right.</p><p>“Was it anything important?” Mcnamara asked. </p><p>“No, it was just strangely violent- can we just-?” He went to stand from his seat but didn’t quite.</p><p>“Ah we’ll-“ Mcnamara raised his head to gauge if they could leave. </p><p>At the back of the room there was a woman trying to leave who was getting reprimanded by the only attendant on the floor he could see. </p><p>He grunted, searching the other side of the room. He placed his hand palm up on the arm rest and Xander flinched away at the contact for once, “these lights are right in my eyes I’m getting out of here.”</p><p>“We can’t,” he pointed out, gesturing to the attendant who was still telling the woman to sit down.</p><p>“Why can’t they just turn the sound off if the show has stopped?” He snapped. </p><p>“I can’t tell if this is part of the show or not,” Melissa spoke up with a voice of growing worry. “Why’s there no first aid?”</p><p>“I don’t care if it’s over or not, I’m leaving!” he said to Mcnamara, but loud enough for Melissa to hear at the end of the row. “Jesus- that light is flashing directly in my eye and that music!” He clenched his hands. </p><p>The pinwheel sounds and the laughing and squeaking sound effects of the snugglebugs were still playing loudly over the top of the already annoying soundtrack that was just a little too close to the mirror maze song. The lights weren’t even flashing in time to the music and were making McNamara’s own heart erratic.</p><p>“Y’reckon this is another stunt to upset people?” Schaeffer had her arms crossed. “For a show at a place called Drowzy Town this isn’t what I expected,” she added. “I’m very awake.”</p><p>“And a bit horrified,” Melissa agreed. </p><p>Mcnamara thought there had to be more. He didn’t see any symbolism in there or any mention of any of the eldritch beings under investigation.</p><p>“Drowsy time as in like, dying?” She tried to suggest with an awkward look to the stage. </p><p>“This is a train wreck,” Schaeffer shook her head, eyes still on the stage. </p><p>“Can you guys just shut up for a second? I can’t think with all this noise,” Xander shook his head, letting go of the tension in his hands. “Come on, we’re getting out of here.” He took from his chair, and Mcnamara snatched up his hand as he left, marching up the side aisle towards the doors.</p><p>“Excuse me sir you have to sit back down,” an employee conveniently slid into the way of the door, hands clasped together in a false apology. “Sorry for the inconvenience but we have to keep the aisles clear in case of emergency during the show.”</p><p>“Was that not an emergency?” Mcnamara scoffed.</p><p>“Cool we’ll get out of the way then! Just let us past!” Xander tried, attempting to step past.</p><p>“The show is still going sir, my apologies but you do have to return to your seat,” the employee said again, tone still smooth as butter despite the thick customer service voice. “Right now sir,” not so smooth anymore.</p><p>“No, we’ll pass, actually,” Schaeffer shouldered her way past the man, storming right past the entrance. </p><p>Xander pushed his way to the front again, shaking his head as he got out into the hot air again. </p><p>It wasn’t much quieter out here, the roller coasters were still hurtling over their tracks overhead, and the excited screams of riders going down drops followed by the race of wheels and the shake of the whole structure was always ever present. Children were still crying and people were still arguing and different jingles still played from every van and booth. But at least the lights had stopped flashing and the noise had more space.</p><p>With a quick glance at the group it looks like Schaeffer was the only one still put together and she was still lingering by the door to wait for their bag back.  </p><p>“Could’ve used a flashing lights warning,” Mcnamara rubbed his eyes. “Are you alright, Xander?” </p><p>He gave a nod. “I swear the speaker was right next to my ear. It was all just happening at once and it was making me really mad,” he was still playing with his chain, an angry grimace on his face. </p><p>“Well we knew things were going to make us mad,” he reminded Xander who had volunteered for this mission on his own accord. “I should’ve stayed to finish the show,” he noted out loud. “My daughter wanted to see the show didn’t she?” He turned to Melissa, who blinked. </p><p>“Uh, I’m not a big noise fan, in general,” she confessed. “The bug thing was kinda killing me there, with the sound effects n’ stuff. Also I’m not really into watching people beat each other up with mallets,” she tacked the joke on at the last second as if in hopes Mcnamara would laugh instead of get angry with her.</p><p>“John, you could’ve stayed if you wanted!” Xander stepped back from him. “Don’t blame me! There was nothing in there you were really just trying to jam in symbolism so you don’t have to admit you just sat through a kids show on bad judgement!” </p><p>“Bag,” Schaeffer announced her return as she stepped in between the bickering couple before Mcnamara could say anything harmful. He shook his head, god, he shouldn’t be so angry at Xander when the show was overwhelming him too. </p><p>“Thanks,” he grunted, slicking his hair back out of his face. “Let’s go.”</p><p>He didn’t know where to next though so they just started walking. It was nearly closing time now anyways. </p><p>Melissa clung onto the bag Schaeffer was holding so she wasn’t separated by the crowd starting to pour out of the show, he supposed they had finally ended it and he hoped that poor sniggle was okay. </p><p>“Don’t hang onto the bag, Melissa,” Schaeffer told her, switching the bag to her other arm. </p><p>“Sorry, I don’t wanna get lost,” she tapped her fingers together, trying to come up with a valid excuse. “I just want to walk with you.”</p><p>“Oh I know you’re a kid but you’re clingy!”<br/>She gave an dryly impressed huff. “You don’t need to hold my hand at your age.” </p><p>“Can’t believe mom hates me, woah,” she cast a mock-shocked look back at Mcnamara, a weird way of coping. </p><p>“Don’t call me that,” Schaeffer gave an unamused snort. </p><p>“Mom is literally putting me up for adoption, why don’t you love me mom that really hurts?” She bowed her head dramatically, crossing her arms. </p><p>“Oh don’t whine,” she snatched her wrist up to hold just so it would settle her. “I know you’re a child but you’re eighteen, why are you acting like you’re twelve?”</p><p>“I wasn’t acting,” her jaw dropped. “I was just joking around.” And that sort of pale horror returned to her face.</p><p>Mcnamara bumped his shoulder against Schaeffer’s to grab her attention for a second. “Maybe I should’ve brought Hartford instead,” he joked a little roughly. </p><p>“Oh no now wait, I get what’s happening,” she waved her hand over her eye to gesture they were talking about Blinky’s spell, “but can you not talk about Melissa like that?” </p><p>“Oh, sorry sorry!” He snapped, veering off the walking path slightly to get some space. “You can’t blame me for it it’s-!” He waved his hand aggressively over his eye. “Why don’t you go take her on a ride or something and cool off?” He rolled his eyes, stopping in his tracks. Why did everyone have to be so against him on such a precarious mission? </p><p>“The rollercoasters don’t even look remotely safe, John, I’m not-“</p><p>“Just go, and wait in line,” he told her more firmly, dropping the dad voice he had been using for his General voice again. </p><p>“Hold my bag then.” She shut up with a final grunt, putting an arm on Melissa’s shoulder to guide her away. </p><p>“Oh my god,” Mcnamara leant up against the wall, rubbing his forehead. “I need more water.” </p><p>He noticed Xander staring at him, shades off, but the man didn’t approach Mcnamara to say anything.</p><p>“I could use a moment without Claire trying to manhandle this whole thing, it was my plan, not hers!” He rambled his defence to Xander who was still staring, look tinged slightly with concern or confusion. Or, well, he forgot who brought up the family tickets, the pressure in his brain making that foggy, but he was the General, it must’ve been his. “This whole thing is giving me a headache,” he murmured when he realised he was talking to himself. </p><p>“Yeah, I think it’s that girl’s voice,” Xander snorted. “For however old she is, it’s high.” </p><p>“I am just so sick of Claire assuming she’s always right!” He snapped. “Who does she think she is compared to me anyways?” The thought sounded way worse out loud when he removed their respective ranks from the sentence, harsh enough anyways to briefly remind him of the spell he was under. “Y’know that’s why I didn’t wanna bring her in the first place,” he grumbled to back himself up, despite the fact it wasn’t true. He hadn’t even come up with a team. </p><p>“Wow,” Xander turned the other way. “For someone who hates their so much you’re doing an awful good job at acting,” he mumbled like it didn’t matter whether Mcnamara heard it or not, tacking something else to his sentence that was drowned under the crackle of the PA system. </p><p>“Watcherworld will be closing in half an hour buddies!” Came the prerecorded voice of Blinky. “Please enjoy your last rides before the park closes, friends!” </p><p>Mcnamara shook his head, ignoring the memo and stepping forward. “Sorry, excuse me Xander? What’re you implying?” </p><p>“I’m just saying, you clarified it was a bad marriage, and yet you’re happy to throw around pet names and do whatever she says? Sounds like a very happy marriage to me.”</p><p>McNamara’s jaw dropped. “Did you not just hear the part where I said she’s pissing me off? Are you jealous? Right now? Xander we’re-“ he picked up his hand, finger brushing over his ring. “Xander, we are married!” He hissed below his breath, who cared anymore- Blinky probably already knew they were here to kill him and none of the park workers were close enough to hear, especially not over the bustle of park goers heading out of the park. </p><p>“John!” He gaped, slapping his hand away, his eyes flicking around to check for witnesses. “I’m just saying it’s an unstable marriage with ‘gay subtext’ and you don’t need to be putting your hand on her hip so often!” </p><p>Mcnamara rolled his eyes, pacing a step away. “I’m not gonna humour you Xander, not here, you know why we’re arguing and you have to cool down. I’m going to get a drink. Hold the bag,” he shoved the bag Schaeffer had been holding up until now towards Xander, marching off towards a booth across the purple stone pathway, weaving through leaving patrons. </p><p>“A bottle of water,” he slapped his wallet down on the counter, and when the worker opened their mouth he cut them off with a frustrated look. “Just a bottle of water.”</p><p>The man nodded, his eyes below the brim of the Blinky hat he was wearing, but Mcnamara could catch the purple in his eyes. “Relationship troubles, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he rubbed his forehead as his headache struck again almost like a beating. He slapped his card to the eftpos machine in an effort to hurry up the process as it cut through his head. He held a hand to the wall of the booth to ground himself, shutting his eyes. “You could say that.”</p><p>“Well you’re the General, it’s you’re mission.”</p><p>“Huh?” He glanced up, hardly able to open one of his eyes with the way his headache was piercing through his skull like a hand pulling out information.</p><p>“Yeah, you shouldn’t be letting any of them hold you back, Mcnamara, you’re the General, not them,” he said, his voice even and smooth and carving away McNamara’s headache. </p><p>“I am,” he repeated. </p><p>“Not even I can tell you what to do, don’t know who those guys are to boss you about,” he dropped the water bottle down on the counter. “Don’t they trust you?”</p><p>“They don’t?”</p><p>“Well why else are they making all these decisions without you? They must really think you can’t do anything on your own.”</p><p>“Hey, I am the General of the whole goddamn organisation!” He barked, snatching the bottle up and cracking the lid off. “And they shouldn’t just forget it because they aren’t saying it!” He scoffed.</p><p>“Yeah, don’t let ‘em forget that,” the vendor nodded in affirmation. “Why don’t you go give ‘em a piece of your mind huh?”</p><p>Headache still ravaging his skull he stormed back over, a snarl on his stony face. </p><p>He pushed someone aside to get through the crowd but he didn’t see who, his eyes set on only Xander. </p><p>He had opened his mouth to start a remark when Schaeffer returned at the same time, Melissa’s hands now to herself, awkwardly clutched across her stomach. “She didn’t want to go on the ride,” Schaeffer explained, and Melissa dipped her head almost shyly. </p><p>“I’ve just got a bad headache,” she tried to defend herself, treading on the spot anxiously. </p><p>“Oh I told you to drink enough water,” Schaeffer sighed. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad. Those things are death traps anyways, I wasn’t getting on it. You didn’t ask to go on it, your dad told you to.”</p><p>“No, fuck the act, Schaeffer, Blinky already knows, who cares?”</p><p>She held out a hand to bar Melissa from Mcnamara, eyes wide in surprise. “Alright, well. Great. I didn’t like it anyways.”</p><p>“Why? Because it was my idea?”</p><p>“This is making me nervous,” Melissa blocked her ears as the PA called out another reminder to head towards the entrance. </p><p>“What? Do you think we’re getting locked in or something? That’s the point,” Xander cleared his throat to catch her attention from where she was staring holes into the floor.</p><p>“Can you let me do the talking Zee?” Mcnamara glared at him. </p><p>“Leaving announcements freak me out - they make me feel like I’m gonna be left behind, or late, I don’t like either of those things- it’s freaking me out and I hate the arguing,” Melissa continued, pulling at her hair. </p><p>“Hold on just a sec we aren’t leaving you behind,” Schaeffer hushed her, putting an arm around her shoulder but not really in a way that seemed comforting. “Look, she didn’t want to go on the ride so whatever? It’s closing time, we’ve got things to do,” Schaeffer shrugged her shoulders incredulously. </p><p>“Oh well why don’t you lead the way then General Schaeffer?” He put his hands on his hips, standing in his spot. </p><p>“Excuse me?” She flinched at the name. </p><p>“Why don’t you just take over the mission if you seem to know everything all of a sudden?” He sneered. “We could use this energy any other day of the week, Claire.”</p><p>She pulled her hair out of its bun, brushing her curls behind her ears as she stammered for words. “Mature, John, call me a dumbass, go ahead. Is it out of your system?” Her words all jumbled together when she was angry. </p><p>“It’s General to you, maybe you need to be reminded of your place!” He spat, chest puffed out. </p><p>“Oh listen I’m allowed to have my own free will I don’t need to wait on your every order just because you’re the General!”</p><p>“Keep your voices down!” Xander swatted Schaeffer’s fist back to her side. </p><p>“Like you could have handled this without me, it was your plan to bring a task force to the amusement park in the first place,” she scowled, crossing her arms and staring Mcnamara down with an almost frightening look. “You would’ve been at each other’s throats right now.”</p><p>“Well you guys aren’t doing much better,” Melissa observed, hands still on her ears.</p><p>Mcnamara ignored her, so did everyone else, even the passerby’s were busy arguing as they headed out, the food trucks and vans around them slowly shutting their doors and closing their shutters, all except for the water vendor, who was still staring at Mcnamara with his purple eyes. </p><p>“Of course I can do it without your help that’s why you weren’t part of the initial team! It was your plan to bring a civilian into the red zone!” He fired back, although his memory was fuzzy, he couldn’t remember who had insisted anymore. The information in his brain had been scrambled. “So try not to get her killed, Claire, we’ve all seen your record with best friends.”</p><p>Melissa finally took her hands off her ears to clap a hand to her mouth in shock, swiftly stepping out of swinging range. </p><p>Even Schaeffer’s hands fell to her side, jaw dropped as an odd sort of laugh was choked out of her. “John, do the signal,” she told him. “Mcnamara,” she waved a hand over her eye. “Say you’re just saying that, say it’s that fucking doll, right now John.”</p><p>As harsh as it was, he wasn’t technically lying. </p><p>“I know we’re under the spell and that’s the only thing stopping me from fucking throttling you in front of the child right now John, you get it?” Her hands were shaking, unsure whether they should be used to punch or strangle.</p><p>“What spell?” Melissa spoke through her hand. “Spell?” </p><p>“Oh well way to ruin it Schaeff, and you say John is the one fucking up the mission,” Xander took his shades off just so everyone could see his glare. “Yes, the spell, you’re the last one to cross the finish line here, kid, we’re here to kill a god and he’s really fucking great at making people mad.” </p><p>“Well then shouldn’t you be prepared for that?” Her face was twisted in surprise and shock. “And no one thought to even ask me how I was gonna feel about that? I hate fighting! I hate arguing and yelling and I hate staying past closing but not that any of you seem to care!” She stomped her foot. “Mcnamara I have plenty of respect for what you’re doing but I wish you’d tell me that because Schaeffer is really scary when she’s mad!” her voice was shaking in an effort not to shout or curse, impossible to keep it calm, she was almost shaking herself, breathing heavily at everything going on. </p><p>“Uh! I’m not going to attack you, Melissa, I am the only thing in this park protecting you! It’d be wise to take back your words quick,” she was trying to be measured with Melissa, but she had a short temper and ‘calm’ for her right now was not physically attacking anyone. “You’re just a child, Melissa, we weren’t going to tell you that the god sees everything at all times how would that help?” </p><p>“Hey I’m not a child!” She pressed Schaeffer’s hand away when she tried to put it on her shoulder.</p><p>“Why do you think we specifically chose you for this mission?” Xander cut in dryly. </p><p>“Why are you attacking me I don’t even know you!?” Melissa sputtered, ”we literally met this afternoon!”</p><p>“The way you talk pisses me off, you literally speak like you’re playing tea party and I don’t know if that’s your impression of an eighteen year old or just the way you are!” He rambled off, cutting into the circle so he was speaking almost into Melissa’s face. </p><p>“Just because I’m happy does not mean I’m childish! I’m just trying to have fun!” She barked back to defend herself.</p><p>“Leave her alone, Lieutenant!” Schaeffer pushed him back to his side of the circle, stepping securely in front of Melissa. “Although he’s got a point, you could watch it on the tone,” Schaeffer broke it to her a little quieter. </p><p>“Colonel, don’t get physical with my husband, I don’t give a shit if you’re angry,” Mcnamara seethed, although the anger that was eating away at his head only wanted more, he didn’t even turned around to check on Xander, he wanted nothing more to claw and scream at the woman until she apologised, and he had to hold his hands behind his back so that he didn’t hit her.  “We’re splitting up, I’m so sick of you picking fights all day! Why’d I bring you?!”</p><p>“Splitting up? Sorry, do you want me to go fight a different god?” Schaeffer gaped, pointing over her shoulder. </p><p>“Xander and I will handle Bliklotep, you take care of the kid,” he shrugged his shoulders as he delivered the order, knowing she couldn’t argue. “I’m the General.”</p><p>“Mcnamara you may as well have not assigned me,” she was struggling for the words, speechless.</p><p>“Maybe that’s the point.“</p><p>She scoffed, “yeah, we’ll stop the god damn show mascots from sneaking in and eating you, got it. Glad I’m putting my years of training to good use,” she nodded. “Melissa, come on. Follow me.” She took the girl’s hand tightly, pulling her away from the argument. </p><p>“I need a second to cool off I think.” Xander waved a hand over his head, turning to pace off and catch a breath as the reminder went over the PA system again that the park was closing.</p><p>Mcnamara heaved at the feeling in his chest, and as if in reward for snapping the hand seemed to pull back from his head, leaving his thoughts fuzzy but it hurt less. </p><p>All of the shutters were down now except for the water vendor, who was grinning at him contently with flashing purple eyes.<br/>——————————————————— </p><p>Melissa didn’t say a word to Schaeffer as she took her by the hand, leading her deeper into the park. </p><p>She wasn’t really a fan of being in places after they shut, she would have preferred to have left with all the other patrons. </p><p>The lights had shut off all around the park in sections, growing darker with each step they took towards the centre, and as the lights finally switched off overhead Schaeffer grabbed her hand harder.</p><p>“Can you see alright?” She asked, not so much anger as there was worry in her voice. It was the first thing she had said since they had parted from the General. </p><p>“I can see well enough,” she answered quickly, only security lights lit their way now. “Where are we going?” </p><p>“It’s okay, I know the way,” she answered as if on instinct. “I can see, too.” </p><p>“Well that’s good,” Melissa answered because she wasn’t sure what else to say. </p><p>“I can keep you safe, just be quiet and let me think.” She kept glancing over her shoulder as if to check whether Melissa was still there or not. </p><p>“What’s that sound?” She asked, hearing something funny far off in the distance. </p><p>“Shh, just a bat or something,” Schaeffer hushed her. </p><p>“No, that’s not what a bat sounds like,” Melissa glanced upwards, just to check for the stars but something massive swooped right over her and she let go of Schaeffer’s hand to stumble forward into her with a gasp.</p><p>“Melissa!” Schaeffer grabbed her shoulders tightly with a glare. “I told you not to let go of my hand!” </p><p>“That was not a bat,” Melissa was too panicked to care much. “That went right over my head, and that was about the size of like- at least a teenager,” was the only way she could describe it. “It had wings!” As if to confirm her point, that bat like shriek sounded again from over at the roller coaster bay, where Melissa swore she could see something sitting there. </p><p>Schaeffer put an arm tightly around Melissa as if to keep her from running off. “I’m taking you somewhere safe,” she explained. “That’s probably one of those god damn sniggles.”</p><p>“Ohhhh,” Melissa’s heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach. “The ones that eat trespassers?” She glanced at Schaeffer with wide eyes. </p><p>“I told you I’m keeping you safe,” Schaeffer reminded her.</p><p>“Really? Because you seem kinda out of it,” Melissa had to tell her. </p><p>“No, I’m fine. What do you mean?” As if to prove her point she returned to simply holding Melissa’s hand instead. “I’m just on guard.”</p><p>“Mcnamara must’ve been under the spell is all, you know, he didn’t mean what he said.” </p><p>She squeezed Melissa’s hand, and not in a comforting way. “I don’t wanna talk about that, don’t let it get to you Melissa I won’t let you die.” </p><p>Another bat shriek. They were just oddly ever so human, right at the start they were more child than bat. </p><p>“The amount you are promising it makes me think I might be about to die,” Melissa pointed out. “You’re implying there is an opportunity for me to die here Schaeffer is that true?” </p><p>“There’s no opportunity for you to die, not if I’m with you, I’ve said that,” she rubbed her forehead with her other hand. “Stop talking,” she said rather bluntly, but Melissa could take it a bit better now that she knew she was under some curse, although she was sorta pissed Mcnamara nor Schaeffer had mentioned that.  </p><p>“Look at this,” she had lead her to a vendor’s cart with a lock around the back door and reached into her pocket to pull out a pistol. </p><p>“Oh!” Melissa jumped back. “You just have that?” She knew Schaeffer wasn’t going to shoot her or anything but it wasn’t making her feel any safer.</p><p>“John was going to make a scene at the show, I just took a few out so the bag wouldn’t rattle as much.” She took a few steps back and aimed the gun at the lock and fired , the lock exploding as if the bullet itself wasn’t loud enough.</p><p>“God!” Melissa clapped a hand to her mouth. “I wish you told me you were gonna do that!” She felt frozen to the ground, and the only thing that made her move was another one of those shrieks somewhere overheard, Schaeffer opened the door and she hurried inside, letting herself fall down in the corner and drawing her legs up under her chin. “I hate this.”</p><p>“You’re safe in there,” Schaeffer said from where she still was on the outside, gun in hand. She sat down on the step, grumbling to herself. “Can’t believe John kicked me off the mission, he’s gonna die.”</p><p>“Die?” </p><p>“Probably, when he’s in a mood like that. He’s terrible at rational thinking.”</p><p>It was hard to tell what she was thinking when her back was turned, in the silver moonlight all Melissa could really see was the scar trailing up her neck from under her shirt when the moon caught it just right. </p><p>There was barely any light in the cart itself now that the shutter was down, but she could tell it must’ve been some sort of ticket booth. </p><p>Sitting on top of the desk though was a small, purple doll. </p><p>She stood up, holding it to her chest. It was soft and she enjoyed the texture of the fur. It didn’t scare her, even it’s single big eyes didn’t seem threatening like it had on the mascot suit. It was weighted nicely and she could rest her chin on top as she hugged it. </p><p>“Hey, what’ve you got?” Schaeffer asked. </p><p>“I just found this plush sitting on the table,” she held it closer to her. “It’s really nice do you wanna hold it?” She offered on the off chance it might calm Schaeffer down.</p><p>“Hand it here,” she held out her bandaged palm and surprised, Melissa passed it over. </p><p>“Blinky has eyes everywhere, Melissa, don’t touch it, he can probably tell where we are now,” more sniggles flew overhead now, the shrieking closer, Schaeffer’s hand tightened on her gun in her other hand. </p><p>“Uh! Well I didn’t mean to pick it up I just-“ </p><p>Schaeffer pitched the doll out onto the pathway and Melissa gasped. </p><p>“Hey!” She tried to step out the door to go collect it but Schaeffer held an arm out to block her, still watching the doll. “Schaeffer, you didn’t have to throw him!” She ducked under Schaeffer’s arm, hurrying off to go pick it up despite the colonel’s complaints. </p><p>“Ohhh,” she frowned, kneeling down to pick the doll up, it made her feel bad to see something so innocent thrown to the side like that, it’s head in the dirt. “I’m sorry,” she stroked a hand over the back of its head as if to comfort it, about to stand up and bring it back when it spoke.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry for you,” it said.</p><p>“Huh?” Melissa sat down, crossing her legs, eyes fixed on its single yellow eye. </p><p>“Your friend isn’t letting you have any fun, you can have a doll if you’d like.” The second after it finished speaking Melissa could never tell if it had started in the first place, like it had been reaching into her brain to take the memory, leaving her with only a searing pain.</p><p>“Uh, no, I think I should probably listen to Schaeffer,” she gulped, her throat running dry.</p><p>“Well she isn’t listening to you, why don’t you get any say in anything?” Its eye seemed to stare back, looking right through her. </p><p>“Well I’m not a colonel, I don’t know what I should be doing here,” a shriek from overhead, she barely even moved, too transfixed on the doll. “I just listen to Schaeffer, she’s usually right.” Or well, so she had been lead to believe. Schaeffer did make a lot of mistakes, not that she could think of any with her headache. </p><p>“Didn’t you hear what the General said? She’s let people die before,” it reminded her, and for a split second a memory that was not hers filled her head, of some place dark and foggy, and a scream that she didn’t recognise filled her ears before it was cut short. “When’s she actually ever been right?”</p><p>Melissa wanted to put the doll down, but her hands were gripped tight around it as her stomach started to churn, the image in her head gone as soon as it had come, leaving only pain and horror. “No, Schaeffer said she wouldn’t let me die though.” </p><p>“I bet that’s what she says to a lot of people. Don’t you think she’s far too possessive? She hasn’t even let you out of her sight.”</p><p>Melissa began to groan, unable to look away. “She said she was keeping me safe.“</p><p>“You’re better off on your own, you’re a smart lady, and she’s just trying to hold you back, to feel good about herself. Tell you you’re wrong so she feels right.” His voice drilled into her head and she hung her head ever so slightly to cope with the headache. </p><p>“You’re a pet. She’s been holding onto you all day, telling you what to do and how to act, she’s smothering you. You’re smart enough to notice how possessive she is of you, you know that.”</p><p>Quite frankly she was also smart enough to realise when she was being gaslit, but it was sort of right about a lot of that. </p><p>“She’s not keeping you safe, she’s just pretending, for herself.”</p><p>“Melissa!” Schaeffer grabbed her shoulder, breaking her concentration. “What are you doing? Get back inside, can you just do what I say so I can keep you safe?” </p><p>“From what?” She asked, like her head was making its own decisions while the pain clouded her thought. “It’s a theme park, what are you keeping me safe from?”</p><p>“She’s just trying to keep you with her,” the doll said. “You can leave, you know.”</p><p>Melissa dropped the doll, but the pit in her stomach stayed. “Aughh,” she crossed her arms over her stomach, breathing heavily to calm herself. “Schaeffer can you stop breathing down my neck?” </p><p>“Melissa, unless you want to be eaten by the sniggles, get in the van” she kicked the doll along the ground, glancing back to make sure Melissa was following.</p><p>“How can that even happen?” She questioned. </p><p>“You’re the one who was scared,” Schaeffer reminded her. “Wanna find out?”</p><p>“Uh, you were pretty scared of me dying too,” Melissa pointed out, sick of being afraid today. “I don’t wanna be here, I’d like to leave.”</p><p>“You can’t leave right now but just stay with me okay?” She shook her head. </p><p>The doll still seemed to be looking at her from where it lay on the floor. “See?” It said. “She just wants you under her control.”</p><p>“Can you hear him?” Melissa asked, putting a hand to her dry throat. </p><p>Schaeffer gave her a weird look. “Please stop dragging things out, I’m very stressed right now kid and I’d like to concentrate. Get back in the van.” </p><p>“Can you just let me have a say in things? Sure you’re the colonel but I’m not a soldier, you don’t have any authority over me.”</p><p>“Well I don’t think you’re exactly prepared for murdering a god, miss personal assistant.” She pulled her gun back out of her pocket, cocking it. </p><p>“Can you not fire that this time!?” Melissa snapped. “I have a killer headache and I don’t want any loud noises!” </p><p>“Cover your ears then, it has to go.” She kicked it a few paces the other way, aiming her gun, and for a split second Melissa could see from its eye, like she was the one Schaeffer was firing at, staring right down the barrel.</p><p>The sight ended sharply and painfully with a bang and soon she could see it laying on the ground, she felt like she was about to collapse too.</p><p>“Agh- Shit! Schaeffer! Why can’t you just respect me for a second!?” She stomped her foot down with a shout, standing stock-still for a second before lunging at the colonel in a decision not made by her head. </p><p>“Hey!” Schaeffer grabbed her wrist pinning it behind her back. “What are you doing? It’s a stuffed doll Melissa, it’s not like it can feel anything,” but seeing it laying there on the ground in the dirt with stuffing pouring out of its eye made Melissa jittery and angry. </p><p>“It’s just a doll you didn’t have to shoot it!” She clutched at her heart, gasping. “It- why’d you shoot!? What if-!” </p><p>“Stop with the stammering and get in the van!” The end of her sentence was covered by the screech of one of those creatures as it soared down through the air, landing in the darkness, purple eyes glowing. “Now, Melissa. I’m serious.”</p><p>“What, because you of all people are gonna protect me?” She spat, the words coming out on their own. And she let them in exchange of not worsening the headache that was almost blinding her, it felt like it was cracking her skull from the inside, she had no control. </p><p>“Excuse me?” Schaeffer was somewhere in between offended and shocked, but altogether angry.</p><p>“Because you’ve got such a shining record!” Melissa tried to hold a hand to her mouth to stop herself but her brain wasn’t taking orders from her anymore, “Mcnamara said it! You’ve let people die before!”</p><p>“Melissa I-“</p><p>“I’m not a helpless idiot, Schaeffer, and this isn’t a war zone! Can you get off my back?” and without thinking she stormed off before Schaeffer could follow.</p><p>———————————————————</p><p>Xander was watching his breath cloud out in front of him, trying to use it to pace his breathing back to a normal rate, working on regulating his temper. </p><p>He could see each breath in the sterile beam of the security light overhead of the cafeteria table he was sitting on top of, waiting for Mcnamara to to scout out the outskirts of the mirror maze, for whatever reason he had made Xander wait. </p><p>“That John of yours is a strange man,” came a voice from next to him, but Xander’s head was ringing a little too much to glance up. “Is he always like that?”</p><p>“Like what?” Xander asked, rubbing his forehead. All of a sudden his brain seemed to be stirring. </p><p>A janitors cleaning cart was rolled in front of him, an elderly yet gruff looking man at its head, his cap hanging just over his eyes. “Oh well so disregarding of your feelings?” </p><p>“No, no, John isn’t like that,” he shook his head, not really questioning why this man was here after closing hours. “Sometimes he has trouble recognising them but,” he trailed off, wondering where the aforementioned man was off to. </p><p>“Well they seemed pretty clear to me, boy,” he grunted, not really cleaning anything but fiddling with the tools on his cart. “You seemed upset, and he was too busy talking to Schaeffer. He recognised that she was angry, what was he ignoring you for?” </p><p>“He was busy,” Xander nodded. “It’s busy being the General,” he answered. “Especially on a mission like this, it makes your head a bit full,” he held his hands to his skull, something inside his brain was pulling on it. He put his head in his hands, resting it and still counting his breaths evenly. He knew he had to stay calm. This was all the spell.</p><p>“Oh well young man don’t discredit yourself like that,” he frowned, adjusting his cap. Xander just caught a flash of purple under there. “You’ve come up with plenty of the ideas today, why, you pointed out the family tickets didn’t you? Doesn’t he give you the credit for those at all?” </p><p>“No, no he said it was Schaeffer who was making the ideas.”</p><p>“Well what’s he so hung up on her about? It seems he’s very focused on her like you aren’t right there!” </p><p>He shook his head, missing a breath. “Well, they were the ones holding up the disguise,” he confessed, part of his brain reminding him not to give up their plans to strangers, but the rest of his brain was heavy like a rock, and the idea couldn’t get out from underneath. “So, he was more focused on her, it’s okay, I trust him.” He said, not really with any feeling behind the words, more like they had just been drawn out like a sample of his train of thought. </p><p>“Well it’s 2021” the janitor chuckled. “Now I may be an old man, I’m a bit traditional,” he ran a hand through his white moustache. “But two men can love each other, Watcherworld would still let you in as a family, why didn’t John think about that?” </p><p>He had been ignoring that, actually, the way John went straight for that option. “I know John loves me, it’s okay,” he pressed a hand to the back of his head where the pressure was laying. It was like the man had pulled that fear straight out of his mind.</p><p>“Oh yes I’m sure he does kid, sorry, of course he loves you, I just thought, from an outsiders perspective is all, the way he was treating you after that show when you were all worried, and all he cared about was looking for clues, I just thought, oh well, you know,” he shrugged, grabbing his cart like he was about to walk away but Xander held a hand out to stop him, his head jerking up and erupting with a flash of pain at the movement.</p><p>“Thought what?” He questioned. </p><p>“Well, you’re a lieutenant, she’s a colonel, that perhaps he just doesn’t think as highly of you, Xander, but that’s just the ramblings of an old man, I’m sure you’re very capable and I’m sure John isn’t promoting you for a good reason.” He sounded like he was thinking out loud, and he patted Xander on the shoulder, a burst of pain in his head with each touch. “Maybe he’s jealous you’ll steal all of his good ideas, he isn’t the brightest, you’re the brains of this operation, young man.” And with that he took his cart and wheeled it off, the rattling of his crooked wheels bouncing over the bricks following him into the darkness where they suddenly stopped, their exit covered up by the cry of some sort of bat. </p><p>Xander stayed standing, staring at the place he had just disappeared, a layer of pain coiling around his brain like it was squeezing out its hope. </p><p>He picked up the bag Mcnamara had left him with and forgotten to take back, marching off in the direction of the mirror maze because something told him that was what would make his head stop hurting, if he could find Mcnamara and do something to him, although he was still waiting for that information to come to him.</p><p>All around him there was bat song, the sniggles, in their night form it must be, since he was the one who had actually done the research on this place. But as he stormed onwards they didn’t really approach him, just watched on with goading chirps like their job was about to be done for them.</p><p>“John!” He barked out to the man standing outside the Mirror Maze building.</p><p>He turned around with a grimace. “I told you to wait, I’m making sure it’s safe,” he waved Xander away. “I’m not done yet, I’ll come get you.”</p><p>“Safe from what? The god we’re supposed to fight?” He cocked his head. </p><p>“Don’t ignore me Xander I said go sit back down,” he pointed a finger back into the darkness where there was a scurry of noises just out of his sight. </p><p>“I’m not a dog, John. So you can go handle the whole mission yourself? You’d die on your own, John. I’m coming too, you just want to take the credit,” he rolled his eyes.</p><p>“What? Do you not think I’m capable Xander?” He waved a fist. “I’m a General, if anything you’re the one who isn’t capable! What do you mean I’d die on my own?”</p><p>“You don’t get invincibility by becoming a General, you of all people should know that! You’re an idiot, John.” He gave a push on the mirror maze doors only to find they weren’t locked, and he stumbled right through. </p><p>“I never said I was invincible I only said I could handle it!” He pushed Xander’s wrist away from the door. “I wasn’t going on without you, I was just investigating!”</p><p>“And I could’ve help you plenty with that! I’m not stupid. Stop trying to be the star of the show, you’ve got a whole task force with you so use it!” He elbowed him as he marched into the darkness. </p><p>The only lighting was a few strips of neon purple globes hung further up in the air that were bouncing off all the mirrors to create a labyrinth of light.</p><p>Mcnamara looked up to the roof. “The music is playing backwards,” he stated. </p><p>“Okay?” Xander shrugged, walking off into the maze, keeping to the left side. “If you stick to one half of the maze you can’t get lost.” Not that he expected Mcnamara to even think about taking his advice while he was riding his high horse. He scowled, at least he can’t say he didn’t try. </p><p>“We aren’t aiming for the exit, Xander, this is why you should leave me in charge,” he could see Mcnamara rolling his eyes in the mirror, catching just a flash of purple, but the memory was quickly wiped away by the jolting pain in his skull. </p><p>“I bet he’s in here somewhere,” the way all the lights were still running was suspicious.</p><p>“That’s what I was going to say!” He snapped. </p><p>“Well I said it first!? You’re gonna take the credit for that too?”</p><p>“Lower your voice!” Mcnamara ordered in a somewhat demeaning tone. “Do you want to ruin our element of surprise?”</p><p>“Well he’s taking his sweet time making himself known, I was probably speeding up the process!” He swung his hands out, barely missing the mirrors to his left as he turned another corner, his reflection in the mirror becoming more and more threatening, like there were completely other people in the maze with him. He didn’t recognise the anger on his face, and that’s why they didn’t stop him. “Blinky!” He raised his voice to shout. “Come on out!”</p><p>Mcnamara elbowed him in the back. “Will you shut up!?” He hissed, ducking down like he expected Blinky to come out any second now and deck them. “He’s probably too busy eating the other two at this rate!”</p><p>“Well who’s bright idea was it to bring a civilian on a mission to kill god?” Xander jeered, squaring his shoulders at him. It was McNamara’s, right? “First you get yourself killed but why not take down some innocents with you?” He accused, shoving Mcnamara back. </p><p>He knocked into a mirror, cracking it. “It was Schaeffer’s idea, actually!” </p><p>But Xander could barely remember, it was like the decisions had all been made without him, like he wasn’t important to the mission at all! “Why do you have to shift the blame? Why do you have to find a scapegoat for all your problems, man!? Can’t you just accept it when you’ve made a mistake? Being General doesn’t mean you’re always right!” </p><p>“Why!? What mistakes have I made, Lieutenant?” He stopped in his tracks at a fork in the mirror maze. “Name ‘em, the civilian is still alive and far away from the problem, you’re fine, I’m fine, no one has been harmed and the mission is going entirely successfully just as I planned! Stop butting it!” He puffed out his chest, his breath hot on Xander’s skin. “Can’t you just respect me?”</p><p>“Well an hour ago you said Schaeffer was the one making all the decisions! You’ve barely done anything!” He grabbed his wrist to push him back, wanting to scream, why was it so hard for his husband to just show him some recognition!? </p><p>“Exactly!” Mcnamara was thinking much the same thing, but even as they stared each other down with two sets of bright purple eyes, their headaches got the best of them - like a bug inside their brains was eating away at information in real time, barely letting the thought they were infected process before it was torn out of their consciousness. </p><p>“Stay out of my mission, and stop questioning your General,” he demanded, prodding a finger to his chest.</p><p>He bit down hard on his lip, pressing a tooth to his skin. His General? He was his husband! “John we’re married!” He spat. “You can’t pull the General card for everything!” </p><p>“And you can’t deny how hard I’ve worked just because we’re married! If you love me why can’t you just respect my decisions, Xander?” He countered, and without thinking Xander shoved him, a fist forming in his hand to swing but something more powerful than the infection coursed through him for just a split second, and he couldn’t. </p><p>“Handle it on your own then.”</p><p>Only the quiet music playing through the scratchy speakers overhead filled in the silence, and then the two turned their own separate ways.</p><p>If it was all part of Blinky’s plan to separate them and make them more vulnerable, well he had succeeded. Not that Xander cared, if John was apparently so invincible he could handle it on his own. He can’t believe he had married that dumbass, and he couldn’t even so much as humour any of his suggestions today. </p><p>Mcnamara was so full of himself. </p><p>He didn’t care if he was alone either, he was safer this way, no one to tell him he was wrong but that little voice in the back of his brain, and it didn’t care, all it wanted was to get away from Mcnamara. </p><p>And hey, he was the one with the weapons bag. That really showed off John’s foresight, he’d regret it in a moment when he realised he only had his fists on him and as strong as John was, he was not going to beat Blinky to death. </p><p>Xander rolled his eyes, clutching tight at his dog chains. So what if he was only a lieutenant? He was just as good as the others! John was always telling him he was the best field agent he had ever worked with so maybe he should live up to his words for a change! </p><p>No, he didn’t care where John had gone off to, even if he was in danger, he was on his own now. </p><p>Xander would just find the exit, if he was apparently of no use at all he would take his guns and leave Mcnamara to his god murdering! See how he liked it then! </p><p>Although finding the exit was easier said than done, and the music was not helping his bad mood. </p><p>“Fuck your stupid mirror maze, Blinky,” he announced before kicking the mirror in front of him with his steel capped boot. </p><p>It cracked and then shattered, his reflection copying him a dozen times over in the surrounding mirrors almost like they were mocking him.  </p><p>He grunted, steeling himself for a moment before smashing in the next one, and turning around to crack the one behind him, it was like the mirrors were watching him, teasing him, laughing at him for walking into the lair of a god, and standing over that pile of glass with heaving shoulders and shallow breaths he just wanted to scream.</p><p>But the room beat him to it in an eruption of sound and chaos, a loud, unidentifiable sound from the left of the room, something like a scream or a voice harmonising with the smashing of more mirrors as something unseen throttled towards him at full pace, sending mirrors and glass shards flying out of its way. </p><p>“Shit!” Came a curse from Mcnamara, and Xander realised with dread that John was much closer to it than it was to him, and he was the only one with any weapons.</p><p>———————————————————</p><p>Schaeffer sat still on the steps to the can nursing her forehead, on any other day she would’ve chased Melissa down and told her to stop being ridiculous, or been pacing back and forth in a panic trying to find the words to apologise, but she had never had a headache like this. </p><p>Her pain tolerance was high, as a kid she had gone to school with a broken hand like it was a minor inconvenience, on missions she had performed her own first aid, stitching up deep cuts in her own skin, and she had never been afraid of a fight, but this headache was like someone was melting her brain, and holding her head was all she could do.</p><p>She sort of wanted to lay on the ground, but the only active parts of her brain were her survival instincts, and she knew she should probably stay out of sight of the sniggles since they seemed to be in hunting mode. </p><p>“Ugh, fuck.” It meant she should probably go get Melissa too. She couldn’t leave the girl wandering all alone, she would have to go and collect her. She was probably just throwing a temper tantrum around the corner and would wear herself out sooner or later. It was Schaeffer’s duty to protect her.</p><p>She heaved herself up with only minor resistance from her bad back, checking the guns in her pocket were still there. </p><p>She would walk the headache off, it would be fine. </p><p>“Brute,” came a voice from behind her. </p><p>She turned around, seeing nothing. “Who’s there?” She took the gun out, not caring for games, her already short temper being tested. “Don’t play games with me,” she cocked her gun. </p><p>Whoever it was was better off running away than showing themselves. </p><p>“Beast,” the same voice said again. </p><p>She growled, following the sound of the voice. </p><p>“Fiend,” it threatened now.</p><p>“Stop that,” she spat, certain she had come to the source of the sound, but there was no one there except the doll, stuffing still pouring out of its eye. </p><p>“Well why’d you reply to that?” </p><p>She knelt down, picking it up around the throat. “Well that’s a cute trick.” She stared at it for a second before tossing it back to the floor, cocking her gun and threatening to shoot it again.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you?” It said rather pointedly. </p><p>“Oh well you’re straight to the point but unfortunately you aren’t my therapist, and I don’t like him much anyways,” she was about to fire when all of a sudden the stuffing coming out of it seemed to turn into blood. </p><p>She blinked, shaking her head, withdrawing her gun. It was stuffing again.</p><p>“Do you like to kill? Does it make you feel something?” </p><p>“No I don’t like it,” she snorted. “Hey, maybe go tell that to my General. He’s the one about to blow your brains out. What’re you so distracted with me for?” </p><p>“I’m doing everyone else a favour,” it simply answered. </p><p>She chuckled, stepping on its stomach with her boot. “Taunting me?” She glanced to the sky at the sound of a sniggle up above, beating its wings as it soared right over her. “Well my guard isn’t exactly down.”</p><p>“Well I could ask you the same thing.” Schaeffer removed her boot as the stuffing seemed to bloody again. She didn’t like that trick, and kept her eyes half shut instead. “What are you so busy humouring me for when you’ve left your friend all alone?“</p><p>She hesitated. “She left me.” That was right wasn’t it? Her memory was hazy. “She ran away.” </p><p>“And? She’s young, why didn’t you follow her?” It asked first before lowering it’s voice. “Although she might be better off without you.” </p><p>“Without me?” She humoured him dryly. “I was about to go find her until you distracted me!”</p><p>“And that’s my job,” it posed, when she opened her eyes fully she could see the blood still leaking out of it, staining her boots. She stepped back. “I’m actually keeping her safe, by keeping you busy.” </p><p>“Oh bullshit,” she turned her back to it, shoving her gun into her pocket only to notice her hands were bloody, her heart almost skipped a beat.</p><p>“You have to think about it a lot, don’t you? The mistakes you’ve made.”</p><p>She didn’t respond, just watching the thick blood drip down her hands with wide eyes.</p><p>“Soldiers, people, have died on account of your mistakes on the field. And I can tell you have a soft spot for that kid, I’m just doing you a favour.” </p><p>“Stop that.” There was a slight shake to her voice, as memories she usually fought to keep down made their way up. “Cut that out,” she threatened. </p><p>“She’s better off without you. Where you can’t hurt her.” </p><p>“I’m trying to keep her safe!” She spun around, grabbing the doll by its neck despite the blood that spurted out onto them, staining her palms and her wrists and trickling down her rough, scarred hands. “Shut up!” She shouted. </p><p>“Why do you have such a short temper?” The doll questioned, ever so calmly. “That’s why you make bad decisions, you aren’t all that smart, you really are just a beast, aren’t you?” </p><p>“You’re wasting my time,” she told it, vision shaky, headache taking a back seat to the way she felt, although she didn’t know the word for it. It felt like her heart was trying to crack its way through her ribs with each beat and her stomach had turned over, her head was running faster than the world was and waiting impatiently and frantically for information, her throat dry as her hands began to shake. </p><p>“Well I’m not holding you here,” it pointed out, voice as calm as ever. “Maybe you’re just thinking about it.”</p><p>With that, there was a strike of pain at the back of her head, and she dropped the doll, pressing her hands to her ears and tucking her head in to groan, even as blood dripped off her hands onto her face, she could almost taste the iron. </p><p>“You’re practically a murderer. Whether you want to be or not you wind up hurting everyone you love,” his voice was the melody of her destruction in her mind, her head aching like the memories were being dragged out by hand, the ones she had worked so hard to ignore. “You left your younger sister all alone without warning to go enlist in your little military organisation,” it started. “For so long, ten years she thought you were dead. You didn’t even say goodbye.” </p><p>“I know but we’ve-!” She spat, her jaw being clamped shut, biting down on her tongue, her teeth felt like fangs in her mouth. </p><p>“1999, July, you lead a platoon right into a storm, stranded them for two weeks, seven survivors, 2003, February, unsuccessfully navigated a team through war zone territory, three lives lost, a sergeant had a leg blown off, 2009, June, you indirectly lead to the murder of a second lieutenant after aggravating another officer over a promotion-“</p><p>“Shut the fuck up,” venom dripped from her tone, she couldn’t take any of it. “Everyone- everyone makes mistakes and we all do and people are supposed to be prepared to die on the job!” </p><p>“You think Melissa’s ever killed anyone?” It asked.</p><p>Schaeffer shuddered, breathing heavily, no clue how to make the feelings inside her stop.  </p><p>“And what about your old friend? 2012, October.”</p><p>“Stop it,” she groaned, trying to find an escape from his voice. “Stop it! Stop it!”</p><p>“Why do you think she died?”  </p><p>She held her hands harder to her ears, but she couldn’t block his voice out, like he had moved into her head. “Stop!”</p><p>“Because you made a mistake. All those years of training and you had one job but you made a mistake because you cared about her more than the rules.”</p><p>The memory was pushed forcefully into the front of her mind, of that mission from so many years ago, so vividly like she was actually reliving it.</p><p>She could smell the smoke in the air and hear the shouts in her ears and the bullets firing and the roars and calls of that mission, she whipped around, unable to see much in the dark, eyes watering from the smoke, she reached out a hand, she knew her friend was supposed to be here, hidden, somewhere, behind the shield of smoke, she ducked her head down, hoping she’d be close to the ground, away from the smoke, she could smell the blood, and her stomach was churning again as her hand brushed against skin. She gasped, breathing in nothing but smoke as reached out to her, and just then the vision was torn away, and she found herself gripping at the doll, blood still staining her hands, her eyes watery not from smoke but from tears. </p><p>She let them fall, she didn’t want to get more blood on her face, she must’ve been terrible enough. </p><p>“See?” </p><p>Schaeffer let her hands fall into her lap, trying to breathe.</p><p>“Why do you think you can save Melissa then? You’re an animal.”</p><p>She let it talk, and she let her head ache, more focused on trying to stay in the present, as much as she wanted to retreat into her mind. She might’ve had a high pain tolerance, but she was a wreck at handling her own feelings. </p><p>“If I were you,” the doll started, “I would walk the other way. You’re only bringing danger into that poor girls life. You make bad decisions.”</p><p>“John makes the decisions I just follow him,” she tried to tell herself. “He told me to bring her today.”</p><p>“Yes but what mistakes are you making now? Is staying here talking to me going to get her killed? Or will chasing after her? Will you search in the right place or wait for you to find her? How much time do you even have? And oh you make the wrong decisions all the time. Why, if you had looked for shelter anywhere else you wouldn’t have found me and this wouldn’t have happened,” he reminded her quaintly.</p><p>“I just wanted somewhere to keep her safe,” the blood hadn’t stopped coming, pooling in her hands where she held it, getting under her nails and in the creases of her palms, she could smell it, it was rich. “That’s what I thought the best idea was.”</p><p>“Well when have you ever had a good idea? Why don’t you take my advice, and just leave?”</p><p>“I’ve been assigned to the mission by my general,” she tried to answer, although she wasn’t sure of that anymore. She certainly didn’t seem to be on it anymore. He was off fighting god and she was just sitting here alone in the dark. </p><p>“Put the doll down and walk away, beast, somewhere you can’t hurt everything you touch.” He had said that like it was her name, and she hadn’t even batted an eye. </p><p>She simply set the doll down, standing up to do as she was told, trying to ease the panic with easy motions - fiddling with the buttons on her blouse, adjusting the clip in her hair, digging the blood out from under her sharp nails, maybe they were more like claws.</p><p>She shook her head. The blood wasn’t coming off, she glanced around for a tap or a vending machine, just needing water to get the blood off, but what if she wasted all her time? She had to keep going, just leave, she didn’t know how but she would think of that when she got there. </p><p>Around her now, the sniggles were starting to take up space, watching her from the darkness curiously, like they hadn’t seen someone like her before. Or maybe they were staring at the blood. It had to be drenching her by now, under her claws and staining her fangs, she shook her head harder, trying to throw off the bad thoughts that had been dug up. </p><p>A sniggle swooped down right above her head, scrambling to the floor along side her, walking on its hind legs like it was mimicking her, it chirped at her like it expected her to reply. Like it thought she was one of them. </p><p>She growled at it though, swinging a bloodied fist at it - it gave a frightened squawk and flapped back up into the air. </p><p>It was just mocking her, she didn’t care for its company. </p><p>“Are you following me!?” Came a frustrated gasp. “Schaeffer!” </p><p>Melissa was just a few feet down the path, glaring.</p><p>“I wasn’t following you I was-“ she stammered. “I was leaving.”</p><p>“Well I was too!” She huffed, hands on her hips. “What’s your problem?” </p><p>“My problem?” She gulped, staring at the blood on her hands. “I’ve-“ she held up one hand, “you have to- I’ve got to go the other way.” </p><p>“Uh,” Melissa held up a hand too, giving an unsure wave as she tried to figure out what gesture Schaeffer was giving her. “You’re crying, since when did you-?” The rest of her sentence was cut off by the cry of a sniggle, but Melissa didn’t flinch like she was trying to stay brave. “Well I’m leaving, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t follow me.”</p><p>“It’s okay I won’t I-“ she tripped on her words, hard to get her tongue around the sharp teeth in her mouth. “Ugh,” she held a hand to her mouth, a shape darting out of the corner of her eye. </p><p>“Bye!” She snapped. “I’ll see you- another time!” She puffed out her chest like she was trying to be intimidating, the same shape catching Melissa’s attention though as it soared up behind her. She stumbled back, “uh!” </p><p>Schaeffer didn’t try and stop her, standing back as she backed up towards the exit gates. “What are you looking at?” </p><p>With only a screech of warning a figure dropped out of the sky above Melissa, diving down over her head as if to tease her.</p><p>“Oh my god!” She readjusted her glasses, trying to watch it race across the sky and stumbling back against a wall.</p><p>“Melissa!” She turned around to try and catch sight of where it had vanished into the darkness, the only sound it’s echoing call and the leaves rustling in its wake. </p><p>Their eyes were both set on the way it had exited, neither of them noticed it soar back up behind Melissa, barreling right into her and knocking her to the ground with a grunt.</p><p>She quickly pushed herself off the floor, but within seconds it had doubled back to knock her over with an outstretched wing, pushing her about. </p><p>“Melissa!” Schaeffer fell a step back, trying to grab for the gun in her pocket, her grip slipping on the wet blood of her fingers. </p><p>“Hey!” She shielded her head as it came down again, its talons outstretched, snagging at her sweater as it tried to haul her off the floor, accidentally bowling her over again instead, her knees skinning on the tiles. Another Sniggle caught sight of Melissa and swooped down to see what its friend was attempting to prey on, circling her like vultures.</p><p>A bloody vision overtook her sights, and there was a scream that pulled her back to the present. </p><p>Melissa was back on her feet, braced in preparation for a sniggle to knock her down again, she was taller than a sniggle, but it was a bit more armed than her with a paw full of claws, it pushed her aside before flying up high, attempting to gain momentum. </p><p>Schaeffer couldn’t run, if she got anywhere near them she’d hurt Melissa. She was a monster, the doll had said it, and it had access to all her memories, it knew her better than she did, she had claws and fangs and a lust for blood and she was a beast! If she fired she might shoot her, the sniggles were moving too fast, like eels through water, not pulled back by the drag of the wind at all. </p><p>Another vision was pushed into her head and she shut her eyes before she could see it because she knew what it would be. </p><p>If she fired she might shoot Melissa, and the blood was dripping off her hands again, speechless as one of them tried to scoop Melissa off the ground with a briefly successful screech before the second one rammed it, making it drop her.</p><p>She circled around to try and keep an eye on both of them but they were flying in different directions, and she was limping now. </p><p>Schaeffer wasn’t an expert at marksmanship, she liked hand to hand combat, or sword fighting, or tracking or chasing or anything but marksmanship, and her hands were still shaking.</p><p>“Schaeffer!” Melissa called for her, backing up against the wall as the bat like creature prepared to come down again, squinting without her glasses. </p><p>She sputtered, hand tightening around the gun. “Hey, bastard!” It had listened to her a few seconds ago, walked side by side with her, why wasn’t it listening now!? “Hey!”</p><p>She ran, stopping half way like a barrier held her back, any closer and she might hurt Melissa. </p><p>“Schaeffer!” Melissa caught her eye for a second, “I can handle this on my own!” She said, forming a fist but tucking her thumb into her hand. </p><p>“Uh- are you dumb?”</p><p>“I‘m not helpless!” She called back, dropping down as it came down over head. “You don’t know everything about me!” </p><p>“Uh, well I know you’ll die!?” But she would hurt Melissa too if she were anywhere near her!</p><p>A shake passed through her body, racing down her spine. </p><p>This was the wrong decision she had made - bringing Melissa here in the first place, she had doomed her from the second she stepped through the gates. And if she had just waited a little longer she wouldn’t have crashed into Melissa, Melissa would be out of here without the sniggles even noticing. </p><p>Oh man- she wasn’t helping, but neither was her inaction. </p><p>As if only to prove her point the second sniggle swooped down and dug its talons into the back of her sweater, and with a powerful beat of its wings hauled her off the ground, the second one diving into the first sniggles’ side, one claw wrapping around Melissa’s arm as the girl let out a shout, the first one nearly dropped her, shouting back at the other like they were arguing. </p><p>The gun in her hand was shaking, and she raised it up, trying to focus it on the winged creature, but it wasn’t being helped by the way Melissa was trying to pull her arm free, shouting something that was too hard to hear over the pounding of Schaeffer’s heart, the other sniggle still ramming into it’s side in a fight over their prey. </p><p>Fuck - she had spent so long in her marksmanship course, she had never shot wrong before but suddenly she had forgotten everything she had learnt, and every time the target landed on the bat beast her hands would shake, and it would threaten to shoot Melissa instead. </p><p>She tilted her head up, trying to find where it was carrying her to, maybe there was a nest she could intervene at, and just get her back that way, the gun was too dangerous and she could make a mistake and she didn’t know what was worse and her mind retreated, the only thing in her sight was blood and-</p><p>She pulled the trigger, and there was a scream she was too dizzy to identify, she had barely noticed her hand had still been on the gun and she had clenched her fist- she dropped the gun to the floor as her eyes tried to focus on the aftermath, there was a spray of blood raining down from the air, and  Schaeffer’s only thought was to run forward and catch Melissa from the air as she fell, the sniggles screeching as they flew away at the sound the bullet. </p><p>Schaeffer braced herself as the girl hit her arms with a grunt, head tucked into Schaeffer’s shoulder and arms tight around her side.</p><p>She knelt down, laying Melissa on the ground on her side despite the girl’s complaints. She pushed Schaeffer’s hand off her to sit back up. “Don’t smother me, Schaeff,” she groaned. </p><p>“You’re bleeding!” Schaeffer held a hand tight around her shoulder so she would stop squirming, looking for the wound frantically.</p><p>“What? No I’m not!” She gave Schaeffer a questioning look, and in the reflection of Melissa’s glasses she could see she wasn’t covered in blood at all, her jaw dropped, there weren’t fangs in her mouth either. </p><p>Schaeffer placed a thumb to her tooth, it was dull. </p><p>“What’re you doing?” Melissa groaned, pushing Schaeffer’s hand out of her mouth so she could press her head back into Schaeffer’s side. “I was totally fine,” she complained, despite how hard she was holding on.</p><p>“Who did I shoot?” Schaeffer asked, not quite caring about where the gun had gotten to. </p><p>“No one? The bullet missed all together, the noise just scared them off. I thought that was the plan?”</p><p>“Of course,” Schaeffer nodded despite that not being the plan at all.</p><p>“Sorry for yelling at you but I was really angry, you don’t smother me, fighting gods is dangerous I imagine.”</p><p>Schaeffer tried to stand up and Melissa stayed holding on, so she managed to get her over to a seat so she could rest her head on the colonel’s shoulder. </p><p>“I-“ Schaeffer didn’t have words for difficult situations. </p><p>“I’m still angry but I’m not really angry, by the way, and once we’re out of here I’ll apologise properly,” she added grumpily. “It’s the spell.”</p><p>“Of course.” She kept an arm over Melissa’s shoulder, eyes on the sky to watch out for the sniggles again. </p><p>“I’m angry but I’m more scared than angry,” she restated herself. “Because I think I was just nearly eaten by those guys? Even if I get really angry again and tell you to leave you probably shouldn’t because I will die without you and you should stop forgetting about the curse,” she seemed to educate her. “I don’t know how you guys started fighting if you knew about the curse. That’s probably all part of the plan to separate us all, dummy.”</p><p>“Well you sound pretty angry,” Schaeffer’s voice lacked much emotion itself. As long as Melissa was safe she didn’t have anything much else to be angry about, she was just hollow and afraid. </p><p>“Only in my head but not in my heart,” she answered, bumping a fist into Schaeffer’s side scoldingly. “Be quiet so we don’t say anything angry,” she simply suggested. “Let’s talk when we’re out of here.”</p><p>Schaeffer agreed, taking one of Melissa’s hands so she could tell her own were no longer covered in blood. “I didn’t mean to make you run,” she managed to apologise. “You shouldn’t have been anywhere near those things.”</p><p>“No it’s okay, that was the dolls fault. No more talking until we’re outta here.”</p><p>It was like the worm had left her mind, leaving nothing but a dull throb, and for the wreckage to piece itself back together. <br/>Schaeffer only worried about where it might be directing its attention to now. </p><p>She glanced at Melissa, who was still sort of glaring holes into the ground, but the girl glanced back up and made the effort to smile before sighing. </p><p>Schaeffer simply squeezed Melissa’s hand tighter. </p><p>She needed time to find the words too. <br/>——————————————————— </p><p>“John!” Xander called out, his voice barely making it over the crashing of glass as the music overhead ramped up, the only voice he could hear was a distinct laughter that could only belong to Blinky himself. “John!”</p><p>“Cut it!” Mcnamara shouted back from somewhere in the maze, he barely heard his voice and he couldn’t see him, only a dozen reflections of his own panicked expression staring him down. </p><p>He backed up through the narrow path, stumbling on forward, clutching the bag close to his chest so he didn’t crash into any of the mirrors as he sprinted onwards, he swerved around the corner, grabbing the frame of the mirror to cut the corner into the next corridor. </p><p>“John!” He called again, trying to follow the sound of his voice, but two rows of mirrors down came Blinky’s laugh, and then the whole row crashed to the ground, the top of Blinky’s head tottering past as he waddled down, giggling in search of them, his gigantic eye scanning the rows like a security camera.</p><p>Xander ducked down, listening to the shatter of glass beneath his paws in time to the circus music above.</p><p>“Where are my buddies?” Blinky hummed. </p><p>Xander took back to his feet and Blinky pushed aside another row of mirrors, he certainly wasn’t built for how narrow the rows were, but that was all part of the trap - Xander had to manoeuvre around tight corners, not tall enough to see over the top and not strong enough to knock them aside so easily. </p><p>“John!” He tried again, straining his voice in frustration, he reached into the bag, grabbing the first thing he could, one of Schaeffer’s tranqs. </p><p>“I’m handling this! Shut up, Xander!” He called back, his deep voice somewhere far away. </p><p>Blinky let out a cry of glee and turned around, hurrying back over the glass in chase of John. </p><p>“Oh you idiot!” He called back, his voice not quite matching the volume Mcnamara was calling out for Blinky at. “Stop being so full of yourself!” He turned the corner so fast he smacked into the mirror, almost toppling the row but quickly getting his balance back.</p><p>“Get out of here, Xander! This is my mission!”</p><p>“This is a task force!” He called back, “you assigned me and Schaeffer!” He skidded around the corner, the maze cutting off in three different ways.</p><p>“And now I’m unassigning you!” He could hear John moving the other way, like he was purposely avoiding Xander, chasing after Blinky. </p><p>“You aren’t invincible!” He called back, taking the middle one, “hey, Blinky!” He called out, trying to get the god’s attention away from the unarmed General. </p><p>“Stop trying to take my mission!” He shouted, followed by the sound of John smashing a mirror.</p><p>Blinky gave a gleeful noise, heavy headed but racing towards John’s location. </p><p>“Oh so that’s what we’re playing, huh?” He grunted, catching his breath. He slammed the bag into the mirror, it teetered before collapsing, smashing into a hundred pieces on the floor.</p><p>Blinky had already smashed through the dividing rows, and as it fell he could just see John darting into the next aisle. </p><p>“John! Get back here!” He sprinted across the carpet of smashed glass, grabbing the mirror to throw himself down the same row as John, swearing as he noticed it cut off in three different ways.</p><p>“Get out of here before one of us kills you!” He snapped back as Xander watched his reflection vanish into a new labyrinth of mirrors Blinky hadn’t smashed yet, but was quickly toddling his way over with outstretched hands like he was coming in for a hug. </p><p>He dove aside as Blinky knocked a mirror down, head swivelling around in search of the two he knew were hiding there. </p><p>“Why are you following me!?” </p><p>He turned around as he noticed John ducked down across the row just past the wake of smashed glass Blinky had left. “Let me take it!”</p><p>“Take what? The credit?” He rolled his eyes. “This is a team mission, you are not getting all the glory!” </p><p>“Just throw me the bag!” John hissed.</p><p>“You don’t want me you just want the gun!” He snapped.</p><p>“Shut up!” John groaned. It was impossible to hide when their reflections were echoed all the way across the hall.</p><p>Blinky was making his way back already. “Where are you hiding? You’re my special friends!” </p><p>John and Xander took off in opposite ways, navigating the remains of the mirror maze, just a few rows of glass and some cracked mirrors left standing. </p><p>“Maybe if you hadn’t shoved everything onto me like you always do you’d still be the one with the bag!” </p><p>“Are you calling me incapable!?” Mcnamara shouted. “I do my job perfectly, you and Schaeffer are the ones ruining my plan!” He cried back. </p><p>Xander had made it to the end of the row again, tranq still in hand, across the hall of glass Mcnamara was there too. “Why won’t you give me any credit!? I get it! You do a great job but I’m still here and you’re supposed to appreciate me too!” The tranq in his hand shook. “Why won’t you appreciate me?!” He pointed the tranq just because it was in his hand, trying to emphasise his point. “I’m here too! And I’m working hard as well!”</p><p>“Why are you so desperate to ruin things for me!?” His voice shook. “I never said you weren’t helping! I only said this was my mission but you’re starting to manhandle it!” </p><p>“Manhandle!?” He pulled the trigger on the tranq, and John side stepped it swiftly as the dart hit the mirror. “What did you just do!?” His jaw dropped. “What for!?” </p><p>“You’re the General! You always get all the credit regardless!” He was speechless. “What do you mean you don’t get any? When was the last time I had a promotion John!” </p><p>He rolled down as the mirror besides him was thrown up into the air, wincing as a shard of glass threatened to poke through his leather jacket. </p><p>He got back to his feet, swerving around Blinky’s lumbering form as he tried to reload the tranq. </p><p>“Toss me the bag!” John called as Xander tried to put some distance between him and the mascot. </p><p>“Why don’t you appreciate me!?”</p><p>“You know I appreciate you we’re married! Now toss me a weapon are you kidding?!?” He rammed his shoulder into the mascot, his only real form of defence without the weapons bag. “What!? You want one right now?” He spat. “I’m a little preoccupied!” </p><p>“Just say you appreciate what I do for us!” </p><p>“If you’re so talented take the shot yourself!” Mcnamara fired back, turning on his heels to get out of Blinky’s reach, pulling up one of the last standing mirrors and heaving it Blinky’s way. </p><p>It shattered on contact but Blinky only laughed, shaking the glass shards off him like a dog. </p><p>“Or don’t!” Mcnamara scoffed since Xander hadn’t made a move. “Exactly, because I’m the one who can take him down so just toss me the bag! You’re chickening out!”</p><p>“I’m an alternate reality physician not a soldier!” He stammered, hand scrambling through the bag for a gun.</p><p>He was so focused on searching through the bag for the gun that he didn’t see Blinky swing for his head until John called out a warning a second too late, he was bowled to the floor over the glass shards, the gun flying from his hand.</p><p>“Fuck!” John dove forward to get it, sliding right past Blinky but tumbling over the frame of a mirror and just missing it as he skidded up next to Xander. </p><p>“Now I’ve finally got you!” Blinky sighed. “Why all the running? You’re my special friends!” He stepped a paw down on the gun with a surprisingly happy look for a creature with only one eye. </p><p>“Where’s the other gun!?” Mcnamara rifled through the bag. “Aw fuck!” He tossed the sack away. “Schaeffer took two of them when we were in the show!”</p><p>“Aw fuck you, Schaeffer!” Xander slumped his head down onto the glass shards in brief defeat to rest the pounding headache that was still writhing through his head. But in that split second he had let his head down he realised it was because he felt safe next to Mcnamara even if the god was towering over him, and when he glanced back up he didn’t recognise the man next to him. His beautiful blue eyes replaced by an angry, sparking purple. </p><p>“I have to get the gun,” he hissed. </p><p>“John,” he breathed, making him look over. </p><p>He lowered his shades despite the fact they were already crooked on his face, their purple eyes locking.</p><p>“Ah shit,” Mcnamara lowered his head for a second too, but his legs were straightening himself back to sitting up and he pulled Xander up by the collar to help him to his feet. </p><p>They shared another look, Xander searching for the flecks of blue still in his eyes, and without words they exchanged a plan, mcnamara glancing at Blinky and then to Xander and then to the gun. </p><p>“You go, I can’t take the shot.”</p><p>“Don’t argue with me right now Xander I believe you can!” Came the rather aggressively positive response, John was already pressing his boots against the floor. </p><p>“Don’t you dare get yourself fucking killed, dearest,” he warned, managing a smile for Mcnamara before the man raced towards Blinky, Xander taking off three seconds behind him, boots slipping on glass as he fought for his balance, following John’s steps. </p><p>Blinky didn’t seem to expect this, and as if in a last ditch effort the headache in his mind seemed to explode, blocking his vision for a moment before throwing up several images, none of which seemed to make sense to him - parents arguing, a bath of blood, maggots crawling under the skin of an avulsed arm, all in painful and blinding flashes like he was staring right into a film roll, like Blinky was trying to find something in his brain to scare him or enraged him, he was snapped out of it by the thud of John crashing into Blinky, taking him to the ground, and before it could wrap its hands around Mcnamara Xander dove for the now free gun, sliding over the glass shards that shot up besides him as he fiddled for his grip on the gun, pulling the trigger as the bullet flew into the side of Blinky’s head, John himself narrowly missing it by tearing himself free of Blinky’s grip, but not quite avoiding the explosion of purple goo that shot out the other side of his head, Xander too was shortly drenched as the ink swelled around the room like a rushing tide, swooping both of them up in the flood that sent them barrelling out the front door of the mirror maze like some sort of water ride, trapping Xander beneath the thick waves before eventually dumping them as the tide thinned out right by the front gate’s courtyard, leaving him breathless on the ground. </p><p>“A way to make an entrance,” came Schaeffer’s gruff voice. </p><p>Xander opened his eyes, tilting his head back to where Schaeffer was sitting on a park bench, legs now crossed on the chair to keep her boots out of the slime, and Melissa resting on her lap with a tight grip on her hand. </p><p>“Thanks, colonel,” Mcnamara grunted.</p><p>“You’ve got so much slime in your hair,” Xander managed to chuckle, noticing it was of his own free will for once, and not like the words had been forced out from the back of his head. “It’s gonna be a bastard to wash.” </p><p>“I take that this is god blood,” Schaeffer pointed at the slime like there was anything else to point to. </p><p>“Who knew giant plush mascots could bleed?” Mcnamara huffed, sitting up and shaking out his hair with a husky laugh that made Xander laugh too.</p><p>“I think we’d be surprised,” Schaeffer wiped her free hand down on her uniform, testing a boot on the floor as the ink thinned into the cracks and grout of the bricks below them. “Is he dead?” </p><p>Xander sat up, feeling the slime drip down the back of his shirt. He picked up a glass shard that had been tangled up in the slime, holding it up to his face to check his reflection. His eyes weren’t purple. </p><p>“Look at that,” that was the answer to their questions as the three of them crowded around the mirror, the first few beams of dawn light illuminating the scene in a gentle, milky yellow glow. </p><p>There was a cry of a sniggle overhead, and he saw it in the sparse daylight as it landed on the roller coaster tracks a few feet above and away, preening at its feathers peacefully, uninterested in the people below, Melissa still ducked her head, getting off the chair to race to Schaeffer’s side for safety. </p><p>Xander’s eyes were brown, and John’s were back to that beautiful blue he loved so much. </p><p>Schaeffer drew back her lip for a second, pressing her thumb to her teeth. Xander found that part a bit funny, but her eyes were their cool blue as well. </p><p>The colonel turned Melissa around to check her eyes, letting out a sigh. </p><p>“Well good job on killing a god, you two. What a way to spend my weekend,” Schaeffer checked her watch. “The park’s gonna open again in an hour. Hope the staff know how to deal with all that. Hard?” </p><p>Before Xander could answer Melissa piped up. “Schaeffer did something really cool too actually- I nearly got eaten by sniggles and she scared them away and she caught me all on her own.”</p><p>“Cut that out,” she bumped Melissa with her shoulder. “I wasn’t gonna let them eat you of course,” she smiled tiredly as she she knelt down, collecting the discarded weapons bag off the floor. </p><p>“Ah. It was a bit tricky,” Xander answered, exchanging a glance with Mcnamara. </p><p>Mcnamara glanced to the floor before finally making eye contact with him. “I think you did great, firefly.” </p><p>“Oh we’re getting romantic, nope, come on. Let’s get out of here,” Schaeffer swung the bag over one shoulder, yanking out her blue jacket. “Also you got slime all over my cardigan, I had to give this back to my sister.”</p><p>“We’ll get her a new one, sorry about that,” Mcnamara chuckled, kicking his boot through a puddle of ink, shrugging a shoulder in the direction of the gate to gesture it was time to take off. </p><p>“Sorry, Carol,” Melissa frowned.</p><p>“Hey, kid,” Xander paused them, leaning down to the muck at his feet. “Did you still want a doll?” He figured they were safe now that they killed Bliklotep’s physical form. Now they just had to handle it in the black and white. One of the dolls must’ve been swept up in the slime, and he shook the purple goo off of it. </p><p>“Oooh,” Melissa held her hands up in defence, eyes widening. “No, I don’t think so, I think I’ll pass, but thank you, uncle Xander,” she clutched onto Schaeffer’s arm until he tossed the doll back to the floor with a chuckle. </p><p>“You can just call me Xander again now, it’s okay,” he elbowed her lightly, and they all knew there was no ill intent behind it this time. </p><p>“I’ll go to the shops and find something nice for you,” Schaeffer told her. “As a thanks, or as an apology,” she scratched her throat, trodding along awkwardly through the slime at their feet. “For the sniggle thing.”</p><p>“No, no you don’t have to apologise!” She shook her head. “You don’t have to go to the shops you can just come and hang out at my place for a bit!” She turned to the other two as well. “And I’ll make you some tea if you would like to stay!” She offered. </p><p>“Oh, glad we didn’t traumatise her too badly,” Mcnamara nudged Xander to whisper into his ear. </p><p>“Oh I’m well on my way to convincing myself this was all a bad dream,” Melissa gave a tired grin. “Please don’t invite me next time though.”</p><p>“Hey,” Mcnamara lowered his voice again, hand clasping Xander’s. “I’m sorry, about making it so hard back there. Do you really feel that way?” </p><p>“Oh I,” he chuckled, patting down his pockets for his shades, and glancing around for them in the ground. “I can hardly remember. My mind is fuzzy.”</p><p>Mcnamara held them up. “You nearly lost these in the flood,” he handed them over, and Xander rubbed the ink off them just to give his hands something to do. </p><p>“No, it was the doll speaking,” he assured Mcnamara. “I, you know I know you appreciate me,” he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “What about you?”</p><p>“Oh I don’t even know what the doll was making me say. It fucked up my memory. I should not have been so scared you were all gonna take my job,” he snorted. “I haven’t been that full of myself since I got my first promotion,” he laughed sheepishly. “I felt like everything was out of my control.”</p><p>“We listen to you because your our friend, Mcnamara,” Schaeffer cut in. “The General part is just a fancy word.” </p><p>“Hah, thanks. Don’t mind, I’m not worried about what that doll has to say.” He leaned in, kissing Xander on the neck before leading the way through the exit turnstiles.</p><p>“I mean no one meant any of the stuff they said right?” Melissa pushed through the turnstile, taking off her glasses as if you say she had seen quite enough for the day. “That’s what the spell is for, I figured.”</p><p>“Of course,” Xander agreed, taking McNamara’s hand to lean into his chest as they waited for Schaeffer who had sort of been lagging behind. </p><p>“Uhhhh,” </p><p>They were interrupted by a Watcherworld employee just behind them, bag still in hand, the same one that had sold them their tickets yesterday coming to check in for his new day of work. </p><p>Xander just sighed at the distraction that would keep him from getting back to his own bed a moment longer. </p><p>The four of them were still covered in inky purple stains, a couple of bloody gashes spread across the group, and the soldiers with their weapons still in hand. </p><p>“Hi,” Melissa waved, perhaps a little too tired or excited to worry about having broken the law anymore. </p><p>“Were you-?”</p><p>“In the park?” Mcnamara grunted, “yes. Sorry about the mess. You should probably start getting that tidied up.”</p><p>“You’re welcome for lifting the curse though,” Xander grinned, kissing John’s hand.</p><p>“Weren’t you two married?” He pointed a finger to Mcnamara and then Schaeffer.</p><p>“We’re getting a divorce,” Schaeffer grunted, grabbing Melissa’s shoulder to lead her on to the car park.</p><p>“Aww that happens every time,” Melissa sighed.</p><p>“Well this is a much happier marriage I can assure you,” Mcnamara told the worker, dipping his head. “Have a good day, sir.” </p><p>Xander chuckled into his ear, resting his head on his shoulder as they walked. </p><p>“How many of those dumb dolls are there?” He sighed. “I don’t wanna do that again. I’m going home and downing some painkillers and sleeping for a couple hours.” </p><p>“Of course, I’ll bring you some, firefly,” he laughed, one hand rubbing up Xander’s back. “Let’s get you home.”</p><p>“Uhh,” Melissa trailed off, hand to her head. </p><p>The three of them glanced her way, a moment of panic spiking. “Head hurt?” Xander asked, worried perhaps he hadn’t finished the job. </p><p>“No, no, I just,” she laughed sheepishly. “I forgot where I parked the car.”</p>
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